Never a True Christian
Questions for Christians
(with keys to the Scriptures)

If Christianity is legitimate, it should hold up to criticism.

NOTE #1:   Some of the questions are frivolous.

NOTE #2:   The Christian answer to many of these questions will contain the expression "mysterious ways."   The existence of an invisible magical Superfriend somehow allows one to dodge every valid philosophical or logical question.

      "If you were really great and powerful, you'd keep your promises!"

      --- Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz

1. What criticism(s) of your position (your Christian beliefs) do you consider to be the most credible?

2. The Bible orders you to kill witches; it is the explicit, unequivocal commandment of your God (Exodus 22:18; Leviticus 20:27).   And no, I'm not "taking those verses out of context."

If you met a witch, and he assured you that he is in fact a witch, would you kill him?   If not, why not?   You should obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29).   Are there any other parts of the Bible that you routinely disobey?   Does this mean that you have a rebellious spirit, and need to repent?

Or does it perhaps mean that you obey only the easy commandments of God ("Love thy neighbor") and ignore the commandments that might get you into trouble?

How would you like it if my holy book ordered me to kill Christians ("Thou shalt not suffer a Bible-thumper to live")?   Would it make you a little bit nervous if we got into the same elevator?

3. Abraham In Genesis 22, God ordered Abraham to kill his own child.   If God gave you a personal, direct order to kill your own child, would you obey Him?   If not, why not?

And by the way, if you DID receive such an order (from a booming, disembodied voice emanating from the sky), how would you verify that it was really God, and not a trick (I hope that you would be just the least little bit skeptical if you heard such a voice)?

What if your god didn't order you to murder your own son, but ordered you to do something else that you knew was morally wrong?   What if God ordered you to kill yourself?   Or if he ordered you to rape a seven-year-old girl?

Think about it.   If God could order Abraham to murder his own child, is there any limit to what kinds of immoral acts he could order you to do? [see I Samuel 15:3]

If God gives people orders to kill their own children [Gen. 22] and to slaughter thousands of Midianites [Num. 31:1-18], how do you figure out who's the bad guy   —   is it God or Satan?

Satan teaches the children

4. Do you believe that rabbits chew cud?   God does ... he said it twice (Leviticus 11:6, Deuteronomy 14:6-7).

5. Are you aware that the Old Testament contains absolutely no descriptions of an afterlife   —   either heaven or hell?   Why do you think this is?

If eternal life is a real thing, that means that you'll live here on earth for 81 years, and after that you'll spend trillions and trillions and trillions of years in the afterlife.   I wonder why the first 74% of your Bible says nothing about what the afterlife is like?

6. Mark 16:18 says that if a Christian drinks poison, it won't hurt him at all.   Are you a Christian?   If someone gave you some poison, would you drink it?

7. Do you believe that God creates evil, as the Bible states (Isaiah 45:7, KJV)?   If you believe this, why do you worship him?

8. I read in Matthew 2:23 that it was spoken by the prophets that "He [Jesus] shall be called a Nazarene."   Can you find this prophecy for me in the Old Testament, please, or in any other writing that existed prior to 4 BCE?

9. Joshua 10:12-14 tells a story about God making the sun stand still for about one extra day.   This would certainly have been noticed by every human being on earth (well, arguably, not by the folks on the "nighttime" side of the earth).

Do you ever wonder why there are no other accounts of this event anywhere in non-Biblical historical writings?

On the other hand ... even if the sun did "stand still," wouldn't the earth still be revolving, just like it always does?   People down here on earth wouldn't be able to tell the difference, would they?

It's pretty obvious that the writer of this story was NOT an all-knowing God.   It was some Bronze-age goat herder who believed that the sun actually "moves across the sky" all day.

10. Ecclesiastes 1:4 says that the earth will last forever; II Peter 3:10 says that it won't.   Which do you believe?

11. Noah's Ark Genesis 6:19 tells us that God ordered Noah to take one pair of each animal into the ark.   Genesis 7:2 tells us that God ordered Noah to take seven of every clean beast and two of every unclean beast. Which do you believe?

12. Ecclesiastes 1:18 says that wisdom brings grief; Ecclesiastes 8:1 says that wisdom "makes your face shine."   Which statement do you believe?

13. II Kings 2:11 says that Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind.   John 3:13 says that nobody but Jesus ("the Son of Man") has ascended into heaven.   Which statement do you believe?

14. Do you believe that a "stubborn and rebellious son" should be executed in public?   God does (Deuteronomy 21:18ff).

15. Do you believe that a medium or spiritist should be killed?   God does (Leviticus 20:27).

16. Do you believe that people who commit adultery should be executed?   God does (Leviticus 20:10).

By the way ... if a Christian commits adultery, will he still go to heaven?

17. Do you support the death penalty for homosexuality?   God does (Leviticus 20:13).

If you contend that these "death penalty" rules from the Old Testament no longer apply, please explain how I can determine which parts of the Bible are still valid and which aren't.

The Bible is an extremely bloodthirsty book.   It specifies, over and over, whole categories of people who should be killed (including children who curse their parents ... Exodus 21:17.   It says they must be put to death. No mercy is allowed!).

18. Why do you think the United States has the highest incarceration rate of all countries in the world, and the highest crime rates of all developed countries?   If (a) Christianity really does make people better and (b) 75% of all Americans are "born-again Christians," as all the polls indicate, shouldn't we expect the United States to be a country (mostly) full of loving, righteous, happy, moral people?

19. Do you hate your mother and father?   Jesus said that if you don't, you can't be his disciple (Luke 14:26).   Are you disqualified from being a Christian?

20. Baptism Do you believe that anyone has ever seen God?   Isaiah clearly stated that he did (Isaiah 6:1); but John said (twice) that nobody has ever seen God (I John 4:12; John 1:18).   Who's correct, John or Isaiah?

Or maybe Jacob ... who also saw God (Gen. 32:30)?

Some people say that Isaiah saw God "in a vision" only.   What is the difference between seeing God "in person" vs. seeing God in a vision that's provided by God himself?

21. Exodus 20:5 says that God will punish a child for his father's sin (see also Jeremiah 16:10-11); Ezekiel 18:20 says he won't.   Which do you believe?

22. Do you believe that you can be saved (go to heaven after you die) if you don't believe in the virgin birth of Jesus?   Two of the four gospels [i.e., Mark and John] don't mention the virgin birth at all.   Are you aware that (a) there is good reason to believe that the word translated virgin in Isaiah 7:14 doesn't mean "virgin," and (b) Isaiah 7:14 is the only Old Testament verse that "prophesies" the virgin birth of anybody?

[The Hebrew word in Isaiah 7:14 that's mistranslated virgin is אלמה   - it simply means "young woman."   It carries with it no indication about the woman's sexual experience.   The Hebrew word that specifically means "virgin" is בתולת , a word that we know Isaiah was familiar with, because he used it four different times: (a) Isaiah 23:12, (b) Isaiah 37:22, (c) Isaiah 47:1, and (d) Isaiah 62:5.]

In other words, if Isaiah had wanted to say "virgin" in Isaiah 7:14, he knew exactly how to say "virgin."   And he didn't.

And have you ever wondered why Jesus himself never once mentioned his virgin birth, in all his teachings?

And by the way ... what is so maniacally important about Jesus' mother being a virgin?

23. Do you have faith in God? Does your faith express itself in love?   Are you aware that the Bible says that the only thing that counts is faith working through love (Galatians 5:6)?

      Note that it doesn't say, "The only thing that counts is believing the right details about Jesus."

      It doesn't say, "The only thing that counts is the Bible."

      It doesn't say, "The only thing that counts is abortion laws."

24. Do you believe that a snake can talk (Genesis 3:1)?   It doesn't have lips.   How does it make the "w" sound?

25. Are you aware that Jesus threatened to murder children (Revelation 2:23)?   Does this change your opinion of him?   If not, what would it take to change your opinion of Jesus?

Of course, his Father also threatened to kill children (Hosea 9:16).

Here's what Jehovah God Almighty (the deity to whom your child prays his bedtime prayers each night) says in his holy book:

    "O daughter of Babylon, who are to be destroyed, happy [is] the one who repays you as you have served us! Happy [is] the one who takes and dashes your little ones against the rock!"
    - God (Psalm 137:8-9)

      [May the Lord bless the reading of His Word. Amen.]

Do you, like God, ever want to throw human babies (Babylonian or otherwise) against rocks?   Would doing so make you happy, as God predicts?   Would you want this hideous Bible verse taught to your child in Sunday School?   In a children's Bible, how do you think this verse should be illustrated?   Please take a minute and do a quick sketch of Psalm 137:9 for my seven-year-old son.

And please explain to me how the mysterious omniscient almightiness of God could transform this detestable Bible verse into anything other than what it is (i.e., an absolute obscenity).

And please explain to me why you believe that your God, who so casually talks about murdering infants, is "pro-life" (you might also want to look at Hosea 13:16).

If you saw a similar statement in another sacred text, such as the Koran or the Upanishads ("O lovers of Vishnu, you will find joy when you smash babies against rocks," for instance), would you be as quick to chalk it up to the unknowable infinite wisdom of that deity? Or would your immediate reaction be "Yuck"?

And II Kings 6:28-29 (this is the chapter that has the story of the floating axhead) tells the story of two starving women who agree to eat their own children.   After they eat the first child, the mother of the second child hides her own son in an attempt to save him.   Please draw an illustration of this passage for the next edition of the Children's Precious Promises Bible.


26. Do you believe that there's any Bible verse that applies to abortion? Which verse(s)? Do you believe that "abortion is murder?" If so, would you kill a doctor who was about to perform an abortion, in order to defend the "life" of the fetus? Do you think that would be justifiable homicide? Do you believe there are any circumstances where abortion is permissible? What circumstances? Rape? Incest? To save the life of the mother? If abortion is murder, why would these special circumstances make any difference   —   why would they make it okay to kill a helpless fetus? And please give a specific Bible verse to justify your position that abortion is permissible if it causes the death of an innocent baby who is the result of a rape.

Let's suppose it's 1888, and we're all living in Austria.   Adolf Hitler's mother has just found out she's pregnant, and she's on her way to the (secret) abortion clinic. You and your foaming-at-the-mouth anti-abortion folks have two options: (1) hold a huge rally, block her path, and prevent her from getting an abortion; or (2) do nothing (i.e., mind your own business) - let her get her abortion - and the birth of a mass-murdering monster will be prevented (and you'll save the lives of six million innocent Jews).

What would you do?

27. Can you show me a Bible verse that condemns the practice of slavery?   [Spoiler alert: There isn't one]   If you were God, would you have written the Bible to include a commandment against slavery? If not, why not? Do you believe that slavery is an acceptable institution? God obviously does. He wrote an entire book of picky little rules (including a prohibition against boiling a goat in its mother's milk   -   Exodus 23:19), but never condemned slavery!

In fact, Ephesians 6:5 says, "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ."   Imagine that it's 1863, and Lincoln issues the Emancipation Proclamation. Many American slaves at that time considered themselves to be Christians ... obligated to follow the clear teachings of the Bible. Please advise them on what they should do. Should they obey God, or men (Acts 5:29)?

And in Exodus 21:7ff, God gives instructions on how a father can sell his own daughter into slavery. If I followed this Biblical teaching, would you want to be friends with me? Would you let your children come over to my house to play with my children (the remaining children that I hadn't sold into slavery)?

And there's an entire "book" of the Bible that is a letter from Paul to a Christian slave owner; Paul is writing to him about one of his slaves (it's the "book" of Philemon). Not once does Paul (under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit) speak out in any way against the institution of slavery.

The best-selling book in history ... authored by the creator of the universe ... and it never condemns pedophilia, child abuse, abortion, animal abuse, or domestic violence. In fact, Biblegod endorses the beating of children (Proverbs 22:15).   Here is God's opportunity to give us a definitive moral guide for living, to tell us not to beat up children, to tell us that men and women should have equal rights ... but he says the exact opposite. Women are second-class citizens in God's eyes (I Cor. 14:34; I Tim. 2:12; Eph. 5:22; I Pet. 3:1; Col. 3:18).   Isn't the Bible out of step with (a) modern times and (b) common-sense morality ... the kind that comes instinctively to a five-year-old?

And while God was dispensing wisdom ... couldn't he have told those guys back in 950 BCE some really useful stuff? Like what causes tooth decay? How about the germ theory of disease (microbes and hygiene)? Maybe a warning about cholesterol? Some rudimentary instructions on the manufacture of penicillin? Couldn't he have told them that the earth revolves around the sun ... that it's not flat? Maybe some clear guidance about abortion ... when (if ever) is it okay? When is it NOT okay? What's the age of consent for sexual activity? How can we prevent infant deaths? What are the exceptions to the hearsay rule?

The best proof that the Bible is nothing more than a collection of writings from the Bronze Age - that it is written by men - that it doesn't come from any deity - is its complete lack of any accurate information about cosmology or disease or nutrition.

God loves us?   Fuck him.   He couldn't even be bothered to tell us about the pathogens swimming around in our drinking water.

Seth Andrews has said that the Bible should be entitled The Goat-Herder's Guide to the Universe.

28. Slavery The Bible specifically allows slavery, even giving rules [in both the Old and New Testaments] on how to buy slaves, and how they should be treated. See Leviticus 25:44 and Exodus 21:2.   Would you vote for a President who stated publicly that he agrees with this clear, unequivocal doctrine of the Bible (i.e., the acceptability of slavery)?

29. James 2:20 says that faith without works is DEAD.   Ephesians 2:8-9 says that we are SAVED by faith without works. Which do you believe? Is FWOW dead, or does it save us?

And by the way ... can one be saved by works without faith? The Bible clearly says that one can (Ezekiel 18:21-22) ... and clearly says that one can't Ephesians 2:8-9.   Which do you believe?

And of course, Romans 2:13 flat-out says that you can "get right with God" by obeying the law.

And the reason that Yours Truly is going to heaven?   I'm married to a nice Christian girl (I Cor. 7:14).

And speaking of salvation (you know, going to heaven vs. going to hell), shouldn't we pay attention to what Jesus himself said?

30. James 2:21 says that Abraham was righteous because of his works; Genesis 15:6 says that Abraham was righteous because he believed God.   Which do you think is true?   Was Abraham righteous because of works, or beliefs?

31. We know for a fact that Lot was "righteous," because the Bible says so (II Peter 2:7).   We also know for a fact that Lot got drunk, fucked his own daughters (Genesis 19:30ff), and got them both pregnant.   If I did this to my daughters, would you tell people that I was righteous?

And how would you illustrate this story in my son's Bible?   He really enjoys the colorful illustrations of "The Rainbow After the Ark Landed" and "Jesus Holding a Lamb While Delivering the Sermon on the Mount."

32. Have you ever prayed to your God and not gotten what you asked for?   Have you ever prayed to your God and asked for something worthwhile (such as healing for a sick relative) but still didn't get what you asked for?   Are you aware that the Bible says this is evidence of your lack of faith (Matthew 21:22)?   Why haven't you ever asked your all-powerful God to eradicate cancer or AIDS?   Do you think he'd do it?   Why haven't you asked him to stop the war in Ukraine?

33. Can't sleep II Thessalonians 2:11-12 says that God sends a powerful delusion to certain people, causing them to believe a lie, so that they will be condemned (i.e., spend eternity suffering in hell). Isn't this type of activity, which God admits to in his own book, immoral? Isn't this what Christians accuse Satan (the father of lies - John 8:44) of doing? If you were God, would you cause people to believe a lie? Why?

And in Jeremiah 20:7, we read, "You deceived me, LORD, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. I am ridiculed all day long; everyone mocks me."   Would a loving God treat Jeremiah this way?

Isn't it possible that God has lied to you?

34. Do you believe that prayer should be allowed in public schools? Are you aware that Jesus himself specifically commanded people not to pray in public (Matthew 6:5-6)?

35. Are you aware that the Bible unequivocally commands   —   twice   —   that women are not allowed to speak in church (I Tim. 2:12, I Cor. 14:34)?   Has your pastor ever preached a sermon on this Scriptural principle? Does the pastor of your church enforce this commandment? Are there any other areas in which you (and the members of your church) are openly rebelling against the Lord? If you are a female, are you ready to repent of your sin of speaking in church?

If you were the pastor of a church, and it was Sunday morning, and you caught a woman in your church violating this commandment, how would you handle it? What would you say to her?

By the way, Christians often engage in outlandish contortions of logic when trying to avoid the clear, plain, obvious meaning of the "women-have-to-shut-up-in-church" verses (and other verses that show that the author of the Bible is really some male chauvinist non-deity human like Moses or Paul). The "standard" apologetics are:

----- (a) this verse is not meant for modern times;
----- (b) there are other verses that indicate that women taught and/or were actually apostles in the early church [in other words, "The Bible contradicts itself"];
----- (c) you're taking it out of context.

Some of the greatest entertainment in the world is watching Christians do furious backflips trying to explain these embarrassing "non-PC" Bible passages.

36. Deuteronomy 13:1-5 states that anyone who preaches a god other than your god should be put to death.   PLEASE tell me that you disagree with your god on this point.

Deuteronomy 13:6-9 says: "If your brother, the son of your mother, your son or your daughter, the wife of your bosom, or your friend who is as your own soul, secretly entices you, saying, 'Let us go and serve other gods,' which you have not known, neither you nor your fathers, of the gods of the people which are all around you, near to you or far off from you, from one end of the earth to the other end of the earth, you shall not consent to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him or conceal him; but you shall surely kill him; your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hand of all the people."

If your eight-year-old son casually suggested following a different religion (don't tell me this idea hasn't occurred to you once or twice), would you kill him ... or would you "show him pity," which the Bible specifically forbids? Are you starting to notice that your Bible contains a large number of "death orders?"

Militant Atheist

37. The Bible tells us that the Israelites wandered in the Sinai desert for 40 years, and that most of them died there (Numbers 14:20-24).   Using the census numbers from Exodus and Numbers, that means that approximately two million people died in 40 years in a relatively small area (and we know where it is ... well, we know where this would have happened, according to the Bible itself). Are you aware that there is absolutely no archaeological evidence (pottery, artifacts, spearheads, bones) of those people having been in this part of the world?   Two million dead humans, and yet no graves or bones.   How do you explain this?

38. The Bible promises that God will meet ALL your needs (Philippians 4:19).   Do you carry insurance? Why do you think you need it? Don't you believe what the Bible says? Is a promise from God not good enough for you?

Evolution 39. Do you believe in evolution? Are you aware that the DNA of a bonobo (a primate) is 98.4% identical to yours (hell, in some states, that's high enough to establish paternity)? If God created everything, why do you think he created you almost exactly like a hairy jungle primate? Are you aware that your skeletal system is pretty much identical to that of a bird, or a dog, or a cat, or a rat - an arm that has a radius and an ulna; carpal and metacarpal bones; a scapula; ribs; a sternum; a pelvis; tibia and fibula bones in the legs; the whole framework covered by a system of muscles and skin tissues; bilateral symmetry; a blood/circulatory system that's powered by a heart? Is your God so lacking in imagination that he created most of the warm-blooded animals using exactly the same basic design? Or is there perhaps the tiniest possibility that we all evolved from a lower life form?

40. John 7:38 quotes Jesus as saying, "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."   In 31 CE, the Scripture (being the Old Testament only ... the New Testament hadn't been written, of course) said no such thing.   What exactly was Jesus talking about?

41. Genesis 5:27 says that Methuselah lived 969 years.   Honestly now ... do you believe this? What do you think his family gave him for his 762nd birthday? How long did it take for him to blow out all the candles on his cake?

Kitten 42. In Numbers 31:1-18, God commanded the Israelites to kill the Midianites - but "keep alive for yourselves all the young girls who have not known a man intimately."   If your son were in the Army, and he murdered defenseless civilians, but spared the women so that he and his friends could fuck them, what would you think of him? Would it make you proud? Would you brag about him to your friends at church?   "Yep, Jeff is a hero ... killed lots of Iraqi civilians, and then raped some Iraqi girls ... wanna see the pictures he sent us?"

Interestingly enough, the Israelites weren't even at war with the Midianites at the time (and hadn't been at any time in the past)   —   they were just living in Midian as guests.   Your gracious, loving God simply ordered the Israelites to commit mass murder.

This raises a question in my mind. I imagine an Israelite soldier (who is carrying a very sharp sword) who receives this commandment from God, and he simply refuses to do it.   He just can't bring himself to kill children.   This soldier   —   after he dies   —   when he is judged by God   —   is this particular sin (his disobedience of God's direct commandment) going to send him to hell for all eternity?

43. II Samuel 12:15-20 tells the story of God killing an infant because it was the product of its parents' adultery. If you were God, would you do such a thing? Please (a) explain to me the justification for this infanticide and (b) tell me what this incident reveals about the true character of Biblegod.

And please give me a list of all the sins which would justify the killing of a newborn baby (not including someone else's sin of adultery, which we already know about).

Baby And please tell me where the baby went after God killed him - heaven or hell? If your answer is "heaven," please give me some scriptural authority (chapter and verse, please) for the proposition that babies/infants/children automatically go to heaven (no requirement for fall-on-your-face repentance and Faith in the Substitutionary Death of Jesus).

By the way, if you contend that a two-month-old infant who dies will go to heaven ... does he remain an infant for all eternity? Just crying and crawling, for billions of years? Or does he "grow up?" And please back up your answer with scripture.

And what if I had a nose job during my life here on earth?   In heaven, do I get my old nose back?   What would I look like?

And what if my daughter had an abortion? Some Christians think that life begins at conception. What if that microscopic eight-celled zygote is flushed out of my daughter's womb by an evil "abortion doctor?" Does THAT thing go to heaven? What does it look like in heaven? Where does it get its personality? What language does it speak, since it never learned a language (and never had a mouth)?

Or does the zygote go to hell ... even though it couldn't POSSIBLY have ever committed a sin?

Also ... if a mentally retarded person dies and goes to heaven, does he remain mentally retarded for all eternity? Or does God smarten him up so that he won't make the other Christians uncomfortable? Again, please show me scriptural authority for your answer.

Does an unsaved mentally retarded person go to hell?   He never "received Jesus," so he damn sure can't go to heaven (John 14:6).   What do you think about a sorry motherfucker who would torture a mentally retarded person for billions of years?

And what language do they speak up in heaven? Surely you don't believe that all Christians speak English. How would you communicate with a Navajo Christian who was born in 1798 and died in 1830 and never learned a single word of English?

44. II Samuel 24:1 says that the Lord incited David to take a census of Israel; I Chronicles 21:1 says that Satan incited David to take a census of Israel. Which do you believe?

And if your explanation is that it one of these two contradictory accounts contains a "scrivener's error," explain to me why the Almighty Omnipotent Creator of the Universe is powerless to prevent copiers' errors. Also, explain to me how any scrivener could be so inept that he accidentally wrote "Satan" instead of "God" (or vice versa).

45. In Genesis 1:26, when God said, "Let us make man in our image," whom was he talking to? The animals? The plants? It couldn't have been a human, because humans didn't exist yet. There's only one God, so he couldn't have been talking to some other god.

Or could he? Are you aware that the word in Genesis 1:1 that's translated "God" -   אלהים   - is plural?

46. Genesis 10:5 says that at that particular point in history, different peoples had different languages; Genesis 11:1, just a few verses down, says that there was only one language in the world. Which do you believe?

47. According to your God, if a girl gets married and it turns out she wasn't a virgin, she deserves the death penalty (Deuteronomy 22:13-21) ... but the same rule doesn't apply to males.   Why does God discriminate against females?

Let's imagine that men (not God) wrote the Bible   —   no divine inspiration or "supreme wisdom" whatsoever.   Let's say it was ordinary men who lived in a primitive pre-technological patriarchal society a few thousand years ago ... and they were just making it all up. What kind of book would we expect?

Let's see ...

» » »   It would reflect the attitudes of that period in that women would be property, just like cattle.

» » »   Rape would be okay, at least in the context of "the spoils of war" (but see Deut. 22:23ff - you're not allowed to rape a girl who is engaged to be married - death penalty for this - and if you rape a girl who isn't engaged, you have to pay money to her Dad and marry her - this kind of rape is a PROPERTY CRIME. And there are different rules for city girls and country girls, depending on whether or not she screamed ... it gets complicated).

» » »   Violence would be a casual thing, and the beating of children would be permissible (even encouraged).

» » »   God would, of course, be a male.

» » »   The adultery laws and virginity requirements would apply only to women.

» » »   There wouldn't be any accurate scientific information (cosmology, nutrition, physics, medicine, chemistry) at all, since the book would merely be a product of its (primitive) time.

» » »   Old age would be revered, and there would be tall tales about people living to be hundreds of years old.

» » »   Children would have no rights whatsoever.

» » »   There would be no tolerance of other cultures, and when another nation was conquered, its inhabitants would be slaughtered like animals (an exception, I suppose, to the "Thou shalt not kill" rule) or enslaved.   See Numbers 31:14-18.

» » »   Following a different religion would be strictly prohibited (i.e., no competition allowed).

      Does this sound familiar?

48. All throughout the Bible, it seems that God's solution to every problem involves death and blood.   He can't even forgive sin unless there's blood dripping somewhere (Hebrews 9:22).   Wouldn't you expect the creator of the universe (the guy who invented positrons, quarks, and neutrinos, and put nipples on men) to have a little more imagination than this?

And speaking of God as a creator ... do you believe he created this thing?

By the way, are YOU able to forgive sin without somebody (or some animal) bleeding?   My guess is that you are.   Doesn't this indicate that you're more merciful than Biblegod?

So fucked up

49. God couldn't forgive your sin without an innocent person (Jesus) suffering. What does it say about the character of your God that he insists on torturing his own son to appease himself? What horrible thing would I have to do to you that you would demand the hideous torture-death of your own son ... that is, nothing else would satisfy you ... you'd insist on your own child being hung on a wooden cross by nails driven into his little hands and feet? And what would this say about you as a person? And how would this constitute evidence that you were "too holy to allow sin into your presence?"

50. And tell me, what is noble and majestic about demanding the death of your own son for any reason?   Would this be characteristic of a god, or of a twisted, sadistic, psychotic fiend?

And don't tell me that "God demands a perfect sacrifice, because he is holy and perfect."   He's God, the all-powerful all-knowing all-everything Supreme Being.   He makes ALL the rules.   That "perfect sacrifice" argument makes as much sense as saying, "God is perfect, so he demands 25 cents per sin."   God could have made a divine law that we have to eat a pretzel for every sin we commit, or that we have to paint our toenails green and do cartwheels to atone for our sins.

There is nothing inherently logical, nothing intuitive, and certainly nothing noble or inspirational or magnificent about the idea of "my own son dying a horrible death = payment for humanity's sins."   God made that up out of thin air; it comes directly from his twisted mind.

Remember ... he's God.
He made up all the rules!

This conception of god comes from ancient heathen religions who saw their gods as angry, vengeful deities who had to be appeased.   In other words, Biblegod is just another in a long line of hateful blood-eating death-cult gods ... who don't exist.


51. Do you use the King James Version of the Bible?   Are you aware that the first edition (the one published in 1611) contained 80 books (81 if you count "Additions to Esther")?   It had Tobit and Judith right in there with III John and I Corinthians.   Have you ever read any of the "missing" books?   Do you know why they aren't in your "modern-day" KJV, even though they WERE included in

            the King James Version (1611),
            the Wycliffe Bible (1382),
            the Coverdale Bible (1535),
            the Great Bible (1539),
            the Geneva Bible (1560),
            the Bishop's Bible (1568),
            the Douay-Rheims Version (1609),
            the original German Luther Bible,
            the Latin Vulgate, and
            the Greek Septuagint?

Do you, in fact, know anything about the "missing" books?

      By the way, have you ever seen the ACTUAL King James Version of 1611?

My guess is that Christians who spout off about "the 1611 KJV" don't know what they're talking about.

52. Religious freedom in America Nehemiah 7:66 says,
"[T]he whole congregation together was forty and two thousand three hundred and three-score (42,360)."   But if you add the figures between Nehemiah 7:8 and Nehemiah 7:62, the total for all the tribes is 31,089, not 42,360 (an error of 11,271). And Ezra and Nehemiah can't agree on what the total should be; the former supports 29,818 while the latter asserts 31,089. How do you explain this? Are God's ways so far beyond our own poor powers of understanding (Isaiah 55:9) that even his math is different?   Can Biblegod make two plus two equal five?

53. I just got through reading Matthew 25:41ff.   Do you think it's appropriate for a person to be punished with eternal torture just because he fails to give food to a hungry person? If your answer is "yes," then what punishment would be appropriate for Hitler, who murdered six million Jews?

And speaking of Hitler, think about this: Hitler tortured and murdered millions of Jews. After he killed them, he buried them in mass graves, like animals. And then ... those dead Jews went to stand before your God. And God said to them, "You all died without Christ (Acts 4:12).   Therefore, you're going to hell, to suffer and scream in agony, forever."

Hitler abused and murdered the Jews here on earth for six years ... God tortures the Jews (they reject Jesus) in hell for all eternity.   Who's worse, Hitler or God?

And it gets even better: According to evangelical Christianity, Adolf Hitler could have repented ten seconds before he died ("I accept Jesus, Amen"), and he would have gone to heaven.   His Gestapo officers, and the guards at Dachau and Buchenwald ... each and every one of them could have done the deathbed repentance thing, and then gone to heaven ... where these Nazi bastards could have stood and watched those Christ-rejecting Jews, all six million of them, burning and screaming in hell.   From Luke 16:19ff we know that people in heaven can see people in hell, and even talk to them.   These Nazis could taunt and ridicule the dead Jews for millions and millions of years ... courtesy of God.

How I sleep

54. The National Review Board gave a report of sex abuse committed by Catholic priests in the United States between 1950 and 2002.   Four percent, or one out of every 25 priests, had been formally accused of sexually abusing minors (these are just the ones who got caught).   Which do you think is safer for your child: to be alone with a Christian priest, or to walk through a city park alone at 11:00 pm?

4% of all Catholic priests ... that's actually a higher percentage of child molesters than you'd find in the average prison population!   You'll find lots of murderers, rapists, and bank robbers in a typical U.S. prison ... but you won't have a 4% pedophile rate.

Criminals who are convicted of pedophilia have to be segregated in prison; if they aren't, the other inmates will kill them.   Convicted felons won't tolerate pedophiles ... but the Catholic church coddles them, reassigns them, and hides them.

When was the last time you read a newspaper article (or saw a news item on TV) about a member of the Wiccan clergy sexually abusing a child? Or the Islamic clergy? Or a Buddhist priest? Have you ever seen even one news article about a clergyman from the Church of Satan molesting a child?

I contend that, statistically, your six-year-old daughter is safer being alone with a minister of the Church of Satan than with a Catholic priest.

55. Are you aware that your God has threatened (four different times, in four different books of the Bible!) to make people cannibalize their own children as a form of punishment? See:

        (1) Leviticus 26:29;
        (2) Deuteronomy 28:53;
        (3) Jeremiah 19:9;
        (4) Ezekiel 5:10.

And II Kings 6:28-29 tells the story of someone who actually did it (ate her own child)! Would you teach these verses to your children during a home Bible study? Are there other disgusting passages in the Bible (II Kings 9:10, II Kings 18:27) that you believe children should be protected from? What would you think of me if I read these Bible verses to your child? Shouldn't the Bible be removed from the libraries of elementary schools? What sins or crimes do you believe would justify a sentence of "you must eat your own children?"

There are FIVE references in the Bible to cannibalizing children, yet only ONE commandment to attend church (Hebrews 10:25).

And by the way ... doesn't this punish the (innocent) children also? Where is the justice in making them die (and be eaten!) because somebody else has sinned?

The story of Job illustrates very clearly God's attitude toward children.   Job has children; God allows Satan to kill them (as a way of testing Job's faith).   At the end of the story (Job 42:12-13), God "restores" Job's children ... by letting him father some new ones.   Got that?   God allows Satan to take Job's property ... his sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys, and children.   Then God restores Job's property ... sheep, camels, oxen, donkeys, and children.

This is great for Job, but what about the innocent human children that God originally allowed to be killed along with the livestock?

56. Do you believe the creation account in Genesis?   Which one?   Genesis 1:1ff or Genesis 2:4ff?   Sometime try to reconcile these two different accounts of the same incident (especially the sequencing).

And then try to reconcile the four different Biblical accounts of the arrest, death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus found in the four gospels (specifically, the sequence of events).


57. In Exodus 7:3-4 we read that God wanted Pharaoh to do something, but that God hardened Pharaoh's heart so that he wouldn't listen to God. What does this tell you about the character of God?

Is it any wonder that the colloquial term "playing God" refers to something one shouldn't do?

58. Jesus said that "Whoever is not with me is against me" (Luke 11:23); he also said "Whoever is not against us is for us" (Mark 9:40). Which statement do you believe?

In other words, if I say, "I just don't give a damn. I'm not against Jesus, and I'm not in favor of Jesus either," does that mean that I'm for him or against him?

59. Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Billy Graham's daughter all believe (and stated publicly, on TV) that the attack on the Twin Towers (September 11, 2001) happened because (1) America had become sinful and was permitting abortion, witchcraft, and lesbianism; (2) God got mad at America; and (3) God "removed his protection" from us.

Do you believe this?   Does this kind of God deserve your worship, or your contempt?

How many of the Americans who died on September 11 were lesbians or witches (give me your best estimate)?   Do you believe that it's moral for your God to kill thousands of innocent people because he's upset at some Wiccans?

60. Do you believe that Jack T. Chick was a Christian? Would you like to spend eternity with him in heaven?

61. I read in I Corinthians 5:11 that a Christian should not associate with another Christian who is covetous or is sexually immoral. It is ordered, by your God, that you shouldn't even sit down and eat with such a person. Have you ever obeyed this commandment? Have you ever left the dinner table because a "covetous" Christian sat down with you? Have you ever seen, or even heard of, anyone who actually obeyed this commandment?

62. God has ordered repeatedly (in the NEW Testament) that wives should submit themselves to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22; I Peter 3:1; Colossians 3:18). These commandments are much, much clearer than anything the Bible may say about abortion (and I contend that the Bible says nothing about abortion).

Going strictly by the Bible, it is obvious that a wife disobeying a direct order from her husband is a much more serious sin than aborting a fetus (which, I know, doesn't make any sense). If you are a married woman, do you obey this Scriptural commandment ("submit to your husband")? If you don't, why do you call yourself a Christian? If you are a Christian husband, do you demand that your wife obey the Lord in this area? If not, why not? Don't you have the guts to demand that your wife live according to the Word of God? Don't you have the guts to exercise authority that was given to you by the creator of the entire universe?

What do you think would happen if, this very evening, you sat down with your Christian wife [she'd BETTER be a Christian   —   see II Cor. 6:14] and said, "God has ordered you to submit to me"? Which are you more concerned about: (a) God's commandment or (b) being politically correct?

Would you complain if your wife disobeyed the Lord in other areas of her life   —   for instance, if she committed adultery or murder (or boiled a young goat in its mother's milk [Exodus 23:19])? Do you belong to a church where this commandment is regularly disobeyed by the women of the church?

Can you explain to me why Christian men protest in public (and commit criminal acts of harassment) over abortion, but don't protest about disobedient wives? Could it be that modern-day Christians only pretend to live according to the Bible, while ignoring the more "difficult" (or politically incorrect) commandments?

63. Passion of the Christ In March 2004, Mel Gibson released a movie about Jesus. All of the actors in the movie speak their lines in either (1) Aramaic or (2) Latin. Neither of these two languages is actually spoken (as the lingua franca) anywhere on earth (except for a few small isolated communities in Syria and elsewhere that Aramaic is still spoken). Do you think Mel Gibson was stupid for shooting a movie about Jesus in two languages that nobody actually uses in ordinary speech? Do you realize that, for the first time in history, a movie has been made that must include subtitles everywhere it is shown, anywhere on earth? Do you believe that Mel Gibson was on some kind of ego trip, just "showing off," wanting to make a movie that was painfully "authentic" without regard for any practical considerations?

64. I John 5:16-17 (KJV) talks about a "sin unto death" that one should not pray about.   What sin is that?   And please back up your answer with Scripture.

65. Which of the big-time evangelists (if any) do you trust, and which do you think are phonies? Robert Tilton? Billy Graham? Peter Popoff? Benny Hinn? Marilyn Hickey? John Agee? John Ankerberg? Joel Osteen?

66. In the gospel according to Matthew, which was written around 65 CE, we are promised that the second coming of Jesus will be very soon (Matthew 24:34); in fact, Christians in the First Century CE thought Jesus would return during their own lifetimes, and there was even a rumor floating around that he had already come back and had left people behind (II Thessalonians 2:1-2). Jesus told his contemporaries that some of them would not "taste death" before his return (Matthew 16:28).

Well, about 19 centuries have come and gone ... do you still believe that Jesus is actually going to return?   When?   In another 19 centuries, perhaps?   Do you believe that it could be "any day now?"   If your answer is "yes," do you believe that the revelation of the "man of sin" has already occurred (II Thessalonians 2:3)   —   which is a prerequisite for the Second Coming?   Who do you believe the "man of sin" to be (full name and address, please)?   When and where (and how) was he revealed?

67. Are you aware that there are several pre-Christian myths about a god-man who comes to earth, is born of a virgin, sacrifices himself, and is resurrected? That some of those pre-Christian myths include stories about the miraculous feeding of multitudes, the healing of sick people, and walking on water? Do you have an explanation for how these stories, which existed before Jesus was ever born, could be so similar to the stories found in the Gospels?

68. Do you believe that a person who is 99.999% morally perfect, and commits only a few minor sins in his lifetime (no murder, rape, theft, adultery, or violence) deserves to suffer in hell for all eternity, just because he fails to "accept Jesus" (a term that's interpreted 18 different ways by 6,000 different Christian groups)? If it were up to you   —   if you had the power to make the "He's going to hell" decision   —   would YOU sentence Mr. 99.999% to an afterlife of perpetual suffering? If your answer is "yes," why do you think this is fair? Do you realize that your God would send such a person to hell forever? Are you perhaps more merciful and compassionate than your own God?

What if the only sin he ever committed in his whole life was planting a field with two different kinds of seed (Leviticus 19:19)?   When he dies ... hell, or no hell?

      Do you think that I deserve to spend an eternity in hell?

69. Which do you believe is more psychologically harmful to a child: being sexually fondled by an adult, or being threatened (week after week, in a Sunday morning church service) with eternal, unending torture in a "lake of fire?"

70. You would tell me that I can't be "saved" unless I believe certain things, i.e., that Jesus is the son of God, and died for my sins, and rose on the third day (Hebrews 11:6, Romans 10:9). I do NOT believe these things. How do I force myself to believe something that I don't believe? Of course, I can lie and SAY that I believe, but God will know I'm lying, so that's no good.

Suppose I told you, with all sincerity (and swore on a stack of Bibles), that Elvis Presley is still alive; his death in 1977 was faked. He was kidnapped by space aliens, and he now lives on the planet Venus. Any day now, he will return to earth to reign over us for 1,000 years. All this is prophesied in an ancient book I have (which I then proceed to show you). And then I tell you, seriously, that unless you believe this, 100%, with all your heart, you will go to hell when you die.   You must believe this to be saved!!!

Wouldn't the "smart play" be for you to believe this, just in case it's true? What if you're wrong?

71. In I Samuel 16:14 (KJV), we read that "an evil spirit from the Lord" troubled King Saul. Why do you worship a God who sends evil spirits to trouble people? How would you like it if he sent one of his evil spirits to trouble YOU?

And by the way, where does God keep his evil spirits when he's not sending them out to trouble people?

72. If your own child disobeyed you, would you lock him in an oven, set the temperature to 550°, and turn it on? No? Is it perhaps possible that you have better moral sense than the God of the Bible?

73. Do you believe that some of the commandments in the Old Testament don't apply to Christians? Which ones? Does the OT commandment against adultery apply to modern-day Christians? What about the commandment not to wear clothing woven of mixed linen and wool (Leviticus 19:19)? Why does one OT commandment apply, but not the other? How do you decide which Old Testament commandments are still valid?

74. Christianity-lite Around the time Jesus was born, Herod ordered the murder of innocent children (Matthew 2:16); in the time of Moses, God killed the firstborn of every household (Exodus 11:4-5) - innocent children. How is God morally different from King Herod?

75. In I Corinthians 15:29, we read about being baptized for the dead. What, exactly, does this mean? Has your preacher ever preached a sermon on this topic? Have you ever been baptized for a dead person?

76. Matthew 7:1 orders Christians not to pass judgment.   I Corinthians 2:15 says that a spiritual man judges everything. Which is it? A Christian being judgmental - is that good or bad?

77. In 1994, Christian singer Michael English, then 32, won six "Dove Awards" for his music. He later gave them back, saying it was because of "mistakes" he had made. In fact, he had been carrying on an adulterous relationship with one Marabeth Jordan, another "Gospel singer" who was also married (they hooked up while they were on a tour together that raised money for a home for unwed mothers. No, I didn't make that up. It was during this "unwed mother" singing tour that Mr. English impregnated Ms. Jordan). Question: Do you have any Michael English recordings in your possession? Do you plan to keep them, or destroy them? If one of his songs were playing on the radio (how about "Mary Did You Know?"), would you turn it off? Would you allow your children to listen to his music?

Of course, he's written a book about his fall from grace. It can be yours for $27.80 plus postage ($8.99 for the Kindle edition).   What is it about Christians that makes them want to write books about their spectacular public failures?

I have read Mr. English's book.   He's a complete fuckup.   It almost becomes repetitious: he gets addicted to drugs, goes in to rehab, becomes addicted to drugs again, goes into rehab ... I'm an ATHEIST, and I've never been addicted to drugs, not even once.

And by the way ... Marabeth's child, the child who was a product of adultery? Ms. Jordan miscarried. God killed the child, just like he did when King David committed adultery and got Bathsheba pregnant (II Sam. 12:1-19). Please explain to me again how your god is "pro-life."

78. Jesus said that a sparrow can't fall to the ground unless it's God's will (Matthew 10:29). How do you explain catastrophes such as the destruction of the Twin Towers, or the 2004 earthquake in Bam, Iran, which caused the deaths of 31,000 people? What about Hurricane Katrina (August 2005)? The Indonesian tsunami that killed over 250,000 people (December 26, 2004)? The earthquake in Pakistan (October 2005)? The typhoon in Myanmar (2008)? The earthquakes in China (2008)? Obviously, these things happened because God wanted them to happen. How do you think God decides where (and when) these horrible events will occur? What did these 31,000 Iranians, some of them infants less than a week old, do to deserve a violent death?

Why doesn't God send an earthquake to San Francisco to kill all the queers? Or cause an earthquake at a prison, so that violent criminals will die? Or send a special tornado to the Middle East to kill all the Al-Qaeda guys? Why doesn't God put these natural disasters to some good use, instead of making them appear to be random (exactly the way they would occur if he didn't exist)?

The concept of omnipotence doesn't fit well into a moral rule set.   I am told that "God is good all the time."   What would God have to do to show that he is not good?

The suggestion that God is good means that there is some standard that he is being held to.   It means there's a possibility that tomorrow he might not be good.   Every time I hear the expression "God is good all the time," it makes me want to ask: What exactly is the standard that you're holding him to, the requirements that he meets so that you're describing him as good?

I know for goddamn sure it's not some standard about preventing Nazis from throwing Jews into ovens.

   "It is plain that there is one moral law for heaven and another for the earth.   The pulpit assures us that wherever we see suffering and sorrow which we can relieve and do not do it, we sin, heavily.   There was never yet a case of suffering or sorrow which God could not relieve.   Does he sin, then?   If he is the source of morals, he does, certainly; nothing can be plainer than that, you will admit.   Surely the source of law cannot violate law and stand unsmirched; surely the judge upon the bench cannot forbid crime and then revel in it himself unreapproached.   Nevertheless we have this curious spectacle: daily the trained parrot in the pulpit gravely delivers himself of these ironies, which he has acquired at second hand and adopted without examination, to a trained congregation which accepts them without examination, and neither the speaker nor the hearer laughs at himself."

  —   Mark Twain, Fables of Man

79. If a person is "saved," can he later become "unsaved," that is, lose his salvation?

I Don't Give a Fuck

The answer is no:
Romans 11:29 indicates that a gift from God (which salvation is, per Ephesians 2:8) is irrevocable.   And Romans 8:1 says that there is no condemnation for Christians.

The answer is yes:
Hebrews 6:4-8 says that there can be a "falling away" that results in a loss of salvation   -   it's referred to as "being cursed" and "burned."

So which do you believe? Is it possible, or impossible, to lose one's salvation?

80. Matthew 5:48 says that I should be perfect, just as God is perfect; Ephesians 5:1 says that I should imitate God. How should I go about doing this? Perhaps by killing an infant who is the product of adultery (II Samuel 12:15-16)? Even if the child's father begs for mercy? Perhaps I should stand by and do nothing while six million innocent Jews die in gas chambers? Perhaps I should impregnate a virgin I've never been married to (Luke 1:31)? Perhaps I should contact all the people I claim to love, and threaten them with eternal fiery torture? Maybe I should watch a tsunami start (December 26, 2004), out in the middle of the ocean, and sit on my ass and do nothing for two solid hours as it approaches land ... where 250,000 unsuspecting people are about to die ... and not warn anybody?

And speaking of impregnating a virgin I'm not married to ... that "affair" between Mary and God sounds like fornication to me, and according to the Biblical law, both Mary and God must be stoned to death (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). Can God make a rock so big that He Himself can be killed by it?

Which reminds me ... the Bible says that Jesus never sinned (Hebrews 4:15). My question is: What if he had sinned ... gone into a whorehouse for ten minutes and gotten his cane varnished, for instance? Since he's God (John 10:30; Colossians 2:9), isn't it true that anything he does is, by definition, NOT a sin? Like when Big God kills a bunch of innocent people? That's not a sin, is it? So if Jesus (aka God) stabbed a guy to death for no reason, it's not a sin, since (a) he's God, and (b) God has the right to take a person's life for no reason (the way he does thousands of times every day), right? Isn't it theologically impossible for Jesus [aka God] to sin?

81. In John 14:12, Jesus says that his followers (Christians) will do greater works than he did   —   that is, greater things than (1) healing lepers, (2) walking on water, (3) feeding five thousand people with a few loaves and fishes, etc. Suppose I tell you that Jesus lied. Can you show me even one Christian, anywhere on earth, who is currently fulfilling this "doing greater works" prediction?

82. Are you aware that there are many Christian documents that were written during the First Century CE (such as the Gospel of Peter, the Gospel of Thomas, The Shepherd, the Didache) that aren't part of the Bible? Are you aware that the decisions as to which writings would be included in the Christian Bible were made over 1600 years ago? Tell me everything you know about (1) those book-choosing/book-rejecting "experts" in the Fourth Century CE and (2) the decision-making processes that they used. Explain to me why you trust them so much. Can you name even one of them? Were they educated people? Were they all male ... was there even one woman on the panel? Were they scholars, or were they just politicians? Aren't you terribly worried that some of what's in your Bible doesn't belong there, or that there's something left out that is very important? Aren't you taking a huge leap of faith ... not with regard to your God, but with regard to the Fourth-Century folks who cobbled together the oddball collection of writings we now refer to as "the Bible?"

83. Leviticus 18:22 says that homosexuality is an abomination. Question: If God decided tomorrow that heterosexuality is a sin, would you stop being a heterosexual? Could you stop being a heterosexual just because God commanded you to stop?

And speaking of "abominations," the Bible says that eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:12). Have you ever eaten shrimp? crab? lobster?

84. Romans 1:20 says that God's invisible qualities (aorata - an adjective used as a noun - lit. "invisible [unseen] things") can be figured out by looking at what he created. What invisible qualities of your God have you divined from studying his creation (we're NOT talking about anything you read in the Bible)? And how did you arrive at your conclusions? What part of "creation" indicates to you that God would murder his only-begotten son because other people (not his son) disobeyed him?

Is there anything in nature/creation that suggests that the Creator wants you to kill adulterers by throwing rocks at them, or that he wants you to trim the excess skin from around the tip of your dick?

85. Have you ever studied church history   —   the Inquisition, the witch burnings, the Crusades, the selling of indulgences, the Popes who fathered illegitimate children? How do you feel about these things? Do they make you ashamed to belong to such an ugly tradition? Why isn't church history ever taught in church? (you Protestants would have to admit that for many centuries, the Catholic church was the only boat afloat.)

86. Church sign Romans 2:13 says that those who obey the law will be "justified." Galatians 2:21 says that if righteousness could be gained through [obeying] the law, then Christ died for nothing. Which do you believe? Did Christ die for nothing?

Does it bother you that your Bible can't seem to tell a story the same way twice?

87. Are you aware that the New Testament gives us no reason to think that the believers in the early church ever referred to themselves as Christians? The word "Christian" (cristianouV) is used only three times in the New Testament (Acts 11:26, Acts 26:28, I Peter 4:16), and the context indicates that "Christian" may have been an insult. Why do you think people today who believe in Jesus call themselves "Christians?"

88. In Proverbs 26:4, God orders you not to answer a fool according to his folly. In the very next verse, Proverbs 26:5, God orders you to do the exact opposite   —   that is, he orders you to answer a fool according to his folly! Let's say you've decided to live your life according to God's Holy Word, and you are confronted with a fool. What should you, as a Bible believer, do?

89. The Bible that you carry and study and memorize consists of 66 "books." Why aren't more Bible "books" being written today? If I told you that a certain writing from, say, 1997 should be considered Scripture, on par with Colossians and II Thessalonians, on what basis would you dispute me? How do you know I'm wrong?

Come to think of it, by what standard or criterion do you believe it's appropriate to include III John in the Bible, but reject the Gospel of Peter?   Or the Didach?   If you bought a Bible that was accidentally printed without III John in it, how long would it be before you even noticed?

"God whispered it into my ear ... so that I could whisper it into your ear."

90. Genesis 2:17 tells us that God ordered humans not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.   Why would God not trust humans with such knowledge, but rather give it to ... a piece of fruit?

The Bible records that Eve ate the fruit because she wanted to gain wisdom (Genesis 3:6); God commands us to obtain wisdom (Proverbs 4:5).   Which do you believe ... that God wants us to gain wisdom, or doesn't want us to gain wisdom?

And God told Adam and Eve that when they ate of the fruit, they would die (Genesis 2:17). They ate it and, according to the Bible, they didn't die. Why did God lie to them?

Another question: How could Adam and Eve understand what it meant to "die?" They had never seen anything die before.

91. Suppose a woman told you that her husband was gracious and loving because he promised not to kill her if she served him for the rest of her life.

You'd think she was a brainwashed slave, and that he was a sicko (and you'd be right).

Yet your God offers YOU this same choice.

My question is: Why do you believe that a choice between

        (a) loving your god and
        (b) eternal torture

is a legitimate choice offered by a loving deity?

Why can't God just say, "I love you. Take it or leave it" (like I said to Mary Jo Weaver in the eighth grade)?   Why does he have to be such a stalker?

92. A part of you might be hoping there's a passage in the Bible that says that a 4-year-old child doesn't go to hell if he dies.   Keep reading; you won't find it.   If Biblegod wanted you to know this   —   if this popular idea (a made-up unscriptural "age of accountability," usually claimed to be age 12) were true   —   wouldn't God have actually mentioned it somewhere in the Bible?

Do you believe that a three-year-old who dies "without Christ" will be tortured in hell forever? If you believe that he CAN get to heaven "without Christ," WHY do you believe this? Jesus Christ himself said that you don't get to heaven without Jesus, period (John 14:6).

Please give me a Scripture reference for the concept of an "age of accountability" that gives a non-believing child a "pass" on all the repent-and-believe-Jesus requirements.   Send me an email.

93. Clowns for Christ Are you aware that your God has screwed up at least ten times (according to his own book ... the one he wrote) so badly that he repented? See Genesis 6:7, Exodus 32:14, Judges 2:18, I Samuel 15:35, II Samuel 24:16, I Chronicles 21:15, Psalm 106:45, Jeremiah 26:19, Amos 7:3, Amos 7:6 (you'll want to use the KJV to see the word "repent" or a variation thereof).   Why does an omniscient God change his mind so much?

And speaking of omniscience/omnipotence ... if

----(a) God wants everything to be righteous and perfect and
----(b) God is truly omnipotent yet
----(c) everything is not righteous and perfect, right now, at this very moment ...

then there must be some other thing that God wants even more than for everything to be righteous and perfect. Any ideas on what that other thing might be?

And still speaking of omnipotence ... are you aware that the Bible itself records an incident when there was something that God COULD NOT DO?   See Judges 1:19 (Biblegod can't overcome iron chariots).

94. Do you believe that the Ten Commandments should be displayed in public schools? If so, why? Why do you consider it to be important? Do you understand why people see a conflict between the First Amendment and the practice of displaying the Ten Commandments (#1 of which is "Thou shalt have no other gods before me") in tax-supported buildings? What if a second-grader read the Ten Commandments (on the monument in front of his school) and then asked his teacher to explain "adultery" to him? That's certainly a Biblical topic. How would you want your daughter's elementary-school teacher to explain the sin of sport-fucking?

Do you believe that the displaying of the Ten Commandments helps to create some sort of wholesome school environment for our children? Do you think there's a big problem these days with kids carving idols during school hours?

And by the way ... did you know that the Biblically-prescribed punishment for disobedience of each of the first seven commandments is death? Would you support the death penalty for violation of these commandments? If not, why not? Are you smarter than God? Doesn't it make sense that if we post the Ten Commandments on the courthouse lawn, we should also include a statement that God demands that violators be killed? Would that be a good "moral lesson" for your children? Wouldn't you agree that ideological consistency requires that, if we acknowledge the legitimacy and authority of the Ten Commandments in our society, we should also make known the punishments that Almighty God demands for their violation? You wouldn't want to soft-pedal the word of God, would you? Why are Christians proud of one part of the Bible, but ashamed of another?

Suppose there's a county in California where the majority religion is Islam. Would there be anything wrong with them erecting a monument (using taxpayers' money) on the courthouse lawn that reads, "There is only one God, and Allah is his name, and Mohammed is his only prophet"?

Of course, they'd set it up in some prominent place, where everybody would have to look at it.

If you believe that the Ten Commandments should be displayed on your courthouse lawn, do you have the Ten Commandments displayed in your own home? If not, why not? Isn't it time to put your money where your mouth is?

95. Exodus 20:17 gives a list of property that belongs to your neighbor, which you're ordered not to covet. The list includes your neighbor's house, his servants, his ox, his donkey ... and his wife. If you are a married Christian man, do you consider your wife to be your property? If your answer is "yes," does your wife know about your attitude? Are you aware that many women are deeply offended that your God includes them in a property list along with domesticated animals and servants ("servants" being humans that are owned as slaves, with God's blessing)? Doesn't this betray God's crummy attitude toward women in general?

Some Christians want to display the Ten Commandments in public schools.   Do you think it's a good idea for a modern-day third-grader to grow up thinking that one's wife is an item of property?

And speaking of God's attitude toward women ... did you know that he created Eve as an afterthought? Take a look at Genesis 2:18-22 (which may be one of my all-time favorite Bible passages): God first decides that man (Adam) should not be alone. God decides that Adam needs a "suitable helper." So what God does next is to parade all the animals and birds before Adam, "But for Adam no suitable helper was found." (Genesis 2:20b). THAT'S when God decides to create woman!

One pictures the Infinite Mind of Creation pondering, "Hmmm, let's see ... dog? ... ox? ... whooping crane? ... Latrodectus mactans? No, no, none of them seems quite right. What Adam needs is something with tits and a nice tight ... hey! All the OTHER creatures are represented by TWO sexes! Give me a minute ... I'm getting an idea here ..."

96. Do you believe that "God Hates Fags?"

97. A real sacrifice is when you give up something you can't get back. Jesus laid down his life for us, but he took it back again ... as he knew he would (see John 10:17).   So what's the big deal about Jesus' sacrifice? The really scary thing about death is the permanence of it. Wouldn't it be more appropriate to say that Jesus had a really bad weekend for our sins?

98. Romans 11:26 says that all Israel will be saved. How can this be, since they don't accept Jesus?

99. Mark 16:9-20 appears in some Bibles (such as the KJV) but not in others. Do you believe that this passage is in fact "inspired Scripture?" Why or why not? When you engage in textual criticism to determine which "doubtful" passages should be included (such as the Pericope Adulterae, John 7:53-8:11), what specific criteria do you use?

Dear Christians

100. Do you believe that the American pledge of allegiance to the flag should include the words "one nation under God?" Are you aware that the original version of the pledge (which had been around for more than a half a century before the McCarthyites, in the 1950's, demanded the insertion of a reference to a deity) did NOT contain the expression "under God" ... that American school children recited The Pledge for more than 50 years without making any reference at all to a deity (and America seemed to get along just fine)? Would you object if the pledge contained the expression "one nation under Allah" or "one nation under Isis?" Are you aware that America has no "official god?"

And are you aware that the world didn't start going to hell in a handbasket until after the "under God" language was inserted into the pledge? The epidemic of teenage pregnancy, the rise in divorces, openly gay people marching in the streets, the Vietnam war, Watergate, Islamic extremism, George W. Bush being elected president, prayer "taken out of the public schools" ... all came about AFTER those two magic words were inserted into the Pledge?

101. Who wrote the biblical "book" known as "Hebrews"? If you believe it was Paul, why do you believe this? Are you aware that the writing style of Hebrews (remember that these "books" were written in Greek) is very different from the style of Paul's writings?

102. If God made an announcement tomorrow to the effect that hell had been abolished, that is, that there was no more everlasting punishment for sin, would you continue to live a moral life? Would it offend you in any way if God abolished hell, thereby letting the unrepentant "bad guys" get away with their sin?

Look deep into your heart for just a moment.   Honestly now ... doesn't it give you just a bit of a thrill when you imagine a sarcastic Bible-hating bastard like me screaming in pain as I roast in the flames of hell for eons and eons?

103. Some Christians say that the earth is only 6,000-10,000 years old. Yet there are stars that are many thousands of light-years away from us; the fact that we can see them at all proves that their light has traveled for more than 50,000 years. How old do you believe the earth to be?   [Hint: Real scientists think it's about 4.5 billion years old, and the universe is about 13.7 billion years old]

104. Which Bible translation is your favorite or, to put it another way, which one do you believe to be the most reliable (that is, the most accurate)? Why do you believe this? How much Hebrew and/or Greek do you know? If you aren't familiar with Hebrew or Greek, how can you make any assessment of the accuracy of any Bible translation?

And how do you know that all the translators (of all the English translations) haven't been lying to you all along? Haven't you made a pretty big leap of faith, considering that your eternal future is involved?

Isn't it true that what you REALLY have perfect faith in is (1) the manuscript-choosing/manuscript- rejecting people from the Fourth Century and (2) a bunch of translators, NONE of whom you know ANYTHING about ... not even their names?

105. If your faith is big enough ... People have seen images of the Virgin Mary in tortillas, and in stains on the sides of buildings (to name a couple of places). They've even seen Jesus' face on toilet paper and on an oyster shell. Do you believe that any of these "sightings" are valid? Would you agree with me that a lot of people who call themselves Christians are blithering idiots?

And can you explain to me how any sane person could believe that the Infinite Creator of the Universe would reveal Himself through an image on a tortilla? And if He did so ... what is He trying to SAY? Please translate into plain English the Message of the Holy Tortilla.

And how in the HELL does anybody in the 21st Century know what the Virgin Mary looked like? Isn't it possible that the tortilla image is actually Good-Time Sarah, a First-Century slut?

106. Do you believe that Catholics are saved (going to heaven after they die)?   What about Mormons?   Jehovah's Witnesses?   Southern Baptists?   Pentecostals?   Presbyterians?   Episcopalians?   Assembly of God?   Church of Christ?   Why or why not?

And if your answer is, "Yes, Catholics are saved if they've really received Jesus and been born again," please describe in detail (for the benefit of our Catholic friends) the exact process whereby one receives Jesus and is born again.   And please be very specific, because if even one tiny ingredient is left out or misstated, someone may needlessly end up in hell.

Salvation by grace

107. You're a Christian.   If you committed suicide, would you go to heaven?   If not, (a) why not, and (b) what is the scriptural basis [if any] for your answer?

Also: the penalty for adultery is death, according to your Bible.   If I commit adultery, does God require me to kill myself [asking for a friend]?

108. The events described in the book of Revelation take place on the earth.   What if we colonize the moon (or Mars)?   Do the colonists escape "judgment?"   Will Christians living on the Mars colony be "raptured?"

109. In Isaiah 7:14 we read a prophecy about a virgin having a baby, and she names it "Immanuel."   Matthew 1:23 tells us that this was a prophecy of Jesus.   But Jesus was named ... Jesus   —   not Immanuel.   How do you explain this?   Was Isaiah a false prophet (Deuteronomy 18:22)?

110. In Matthew 17:1-5 we read the story of the "transfiguration" of Jesus.   Moses and Elijah dropped in (perhaps in spectral form, like Anikin Skywalker in Episode 6) and talked to Jesus.   Peter wanted to build shelters for Moses and Elijah, calling them by name.

How did Peter know who they were?   From photographs?

111. Did you know that your Bible specifically commands you not to be a motherfucker (Leviticus 18:7) ?

Has your minister preached any sermons on this topic lately? (I imagine Rev. Jones standing behind his pulpit to begin his sermon, and he says, "There'a a motherfucking Bible verse I want us to read ...")

And are you aware that Silver RavenWolf, Raymond Buckland, Doreen Valiente, Margot Adler, and Stewart Farrar, in all their many Wiccan books, have never thought it necessary to instruct Wiccans not to fuck their own mothers?   Why do you think your God needs to tell you not to do so?

And by the way ... are you still sure you want your child reading this filthy book?

112. Matthew 1:16 says, "And Jacob begot Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom was born Jesus who is called Christ." Luke 3:23 says, " Now Jesus Himself began His ministry at about thirty years of age, being (as was supposed) the son of Joseph, the son of Heli."
You believe the Bible to be true.   Based on your belief in the Bible, who was the father of Joseph   —   Jacob or Heli?

113. Jesus said, "I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:28)   In other words, even if you don't commit adultery with your actual body, you've committed it just by lusting after someone. "Thought crime," one might say.

Now suppose I see someone who needs some cash or a kind word, and I yearn in my heart to give it to him, but don't.   Does that mean I have already "committed charity" in my heart?   Will God give me any brownie points?   If not, why not, when (according to God) the intent is the same as the action itself?

114. Hebrews 10:4 states unequivocally that it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sin.   That being true, why did God give the Jews so many commandments about animal sacrifices (see Leviticus 9:2, for instance)?   Was he just playing a joke on them?   Why didn't he tell them, way back in the Old Testament days, that their animal sacrifices were useless?

115. Satan is the father of lies (John 8:44). Satan can transform himself (metaschmatizetai) into an "angel of light" (II Corinthians 11:14).
      How can you be absolutely sure that the Bible isn't an elaborate deception created by Satan   —   containing just enough "good stuff" to make it palatable and credible?   Do you believe in the Bible just because you were raised on it ... just because "everybody always told me it's the real thing?"   How is this different from a little Muslim child who is 100% sure about the validity of his Koran just because he was raised on it?

116. Free thinker As you know, the Bible allows us to have more than one wife at a time; Moses had more than one wife, and God never batted an eye.   The Bible has references to multiple wives (Genesis 4:23, Genesis 28:9, etc.) and even gives us some rules on polygamy (Deuteronomy 21:15ff), but never prohibits polygamy.   Only bishops ("overseers") are prohibited from having multiple wives (I Timothy 3:2).   Do you agree with this?   If you and your husband (who isn't a bishop, let's assume) lived in a country where polygamy was legal, do you realize that he could take multiple wives (he'd probably invite you to the weddings, but not the honeymoons), and it wouldn't violate any Biblical commandments?

117. My friend Gordon, a Christian, gets upset when I use the expression "goddam" (the proper Texas pronunciation requires the accent on the second syllable: "Gaaaaah-DAMN!").   He doesn't get upset when I just say "damn."   I have told him that in using the full "goddam" version, I am acknowledging/suggesting that only God can damn; to say "damn" all by itself (without the GOD prefix) could be a suggestion that I am inviting some other deity to damn the object of the imprecation.   In other words, as I patiently explained to him, I am in fact honoring his god, and acknowledging God's supremacy.   What do you think?

118. Imagine that there's a shipwreck, and ten survivors are washed ashore on a deserted island.   All of them have complete amnesia, except for one thing: They retain the ability to read and speak and write the English language.   The only book they have is the Bible (let's say it's the New King James Version).   For the next five years, they study the Bible and use it as the basis for a religion they develop (which they call "Biblianity").   Remember that they have no access to any information about church history or traditions.   How similar would their doctrines (and worship services) be to what we'd find in your own church (next Sunday morning) among your Christian brothers and sisters?

Or, in the alternative, is it perhaps more likely that they'd spot the same contradictions, inconsistencies, and outright horrors that I did, and simply reject the Bible out of hand?

119. Do you believe that most people "come to Christ" and "receive Jesus" because they become convinced, at some point in their lives, of the validity of Christianity?   Or does it seem that most people who "surrender to Christ" do so at a time of crisis and emotional turmoil in their lives, and are simply grabbing an emotional life preserver?

Have you ever noticed that nobody "comes to Christ" on the afternoon before prom night?   Nobody "repents" as he's walking into the Pleasure Den whorehouse in Reno after winning $8000 at the roulette wheel ... it's always after he's landed on death row, and all his appeals have been exhausted (like Karla Faye Tucker ... she COULD have "found Jesus" just before she grabbed the pickaxe). Aren't you a little bit skeptical about the "jailhouse conversions?" Do you think Jesus is a bit disappointed about getting so much of the dregs of society ... no Donald Trumps or Bill Gateses?

And by the way ... why would any sane person believe that the answer to every problem on earth is the torture-murder of a nice guy like Jesus?

120. In the Bible (Genesis 30:37-39), it tells the story of animals mating while they looked at speckled trees; the result is that the calves that were born were speckled. Honestly, do you believe this story? What do you think would happen if we tried to replicate this event under controlled conditions? Same result?

121. Believe whatever you want Do you believe that atheists and Wiccans and lesbians and Moslems and Buddhists have the same legal rights that you do? If your answer is "yes," have you taught this to your children?

122. After Noah's ark landed and the flood waters receded, what did the carnivores eat while the prey animals were repopulating?

And by the way ... did you notice that in Genesis 2, God is still busy creating everything, but only FOUR CHAPTERS LATER, in Genesis 6, he's decided to kill everything and everybody? Looks like his Genesis 1-2 plan was a failure.

God then flooded the earth and killed everybody because the world had become evil (Genesis 6:5), and he wanted to rid the world of evil. Well, it didn't work ... his Genesis 6 plan was also a failure. The evil just came back, stronger than ever.

So ... new plan.   The world was still wicked and evil, and now God sends his son to die for all the sins of the world.   Next time you're in New York City or Kabul or Syria ... ask yourself how that worked out.

123. After Noah's ark landed and the flood waters receded, what did the pandas eat? There isn't any bamboo in the Middle East (and if there had been, it would have been soaking in salt water for the previous 40 days, and would have been inedible).

124. After Noah's ark landed and the flood waters receded, the two polar bears traveled all the way from Mt. Ararat (located, they say, in modern-day Turkey) to the Arctic Circle, leaving no population or offspring behind. If they had traveled at a constant speed of 2 mph, never stopping to sleep, eating while they were on the move, and didn't slow down even for mountains or oceans (this being, of course, impossible), the trip would have taken them three months.

      (a) How did they do this?
      (b) How did they survive the hot temperatures?
      (c) What did they eat? An adult polar bear needs at least 90 pounds of food every day just to stay alive.

125. After Noah's ark landed and the flood waters receded, the two duckbill platypuses traveled all the way from the Middle East to Australia, swimming through thousands of miles of salt water (and leaving behind no offspring). How did they survive this trip?

And by the way ... when the flood waters "receded," where did they go? This was supposedly a worldwide flood that covered the tallest mountains ("[A]ll the high hills under the whole heaven were covered" - Genesis 7:19).

126. [Re: the Noah's ark flood] Why did only Noah and his family survive? Wouldn't there have been somebody else somewhere on earth who had a seaworthy boat that could stay afloat as long as the ark did? Wouldn't there have been lots of (human-occupied) boats floating around in the oceans and rivers at the time the rain started falling that would have simply "risen with the tide?"

If (a) Noah's flood really happened and (b) evolution is a false theory, how many Negroes and Japanese married into Noah's family, back before 2304 BCE?

And speaking of Noah and the flood ... God killed 99.9% of the world's population. There must have been a lot of pregnant women among the victims. He drowned them right along with their unborn fetuses (a mass abortion ... thousands and thousands of abortions, all on the same day, performed by the Lord God Almighty). Why would anybody claim that God is "pro-life?"

And speaking of Noah and the flood ... there are 350,000 species of beetles. How long did it take Noah to collect a pair from each species? How could he tell the difference between the males and the females? If he spent only ONE MINUTE collecting each pair   —   finding it, making sure it wasn't one of the other 349,999 species, putting the two specimens into a cage, checking it off his list   —   and he bagged one pair every minute, and never stopped to eat or sleep, he would have spent EIGHT MONTHS just on the beetles!

I picture God talking to Noah. "Hey buddy! Are you finished with the marsupials and the cephalopods? Let's move on to the next phase, the one I call 'Meet the beetles!'"

And speaking of the flood ... Psalm 145:9 says that "The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."   Really???

127. Genesis 3:8-9 indicates that Adam and Eve successfully hid themselves from God.   If he's all-knowing, how is this possible?   And is there somewhere that I could hide from him so that he won't send me to his hell when I die?

128. You probably have at least one relative whom you know isn't "saved." How can you enjoy an eternity in heaven knowing that Cousin Eddie is screaming in pain in the unquenchable fires of hell, forever and ever and ever, until the end of time ... and beyond? Wouldn't (shouldn't) this spoil your eternal bliss? And if it didn't, aren't you a pretty hard-hearted person? Just as hard-hearted, I might add, as your God?

A standard answer to this question is: "I'll be transformed into a new creature when I get to heaven, and I'll know even as I am known, and I'll no longer see through a glass darkly, so that I'll have peace, no matter what." Tell me, how much "changing" can you undergo before you cease to be yourself? That is, before your personality is altered so much that it isn't YOU anymore   —   altered so much that you don't give a shit if half your family is being tortured?

Knock knock

129. Do you believe that an atheist is just as happy as you are? Do you believe that an atheist could be happier in life than you are as a Christian?

130. After Noah's flood, when the waters receded, wouldn't the rotting animal corpses have naturally ended up in all the lakes and rivers, in the low-lying areas of the world ... thus polluting all the drinking water?

And since the flood waters covered the entire earth, and most of the water already on the earth was salt water (the oceans), wouldn't the flood have contaminated all the fresh water in the world with salt?   In other words, when the flood waters receded, wouldn't all the lakes and wells in the world be filled with salt water?

131. Imagine that you're walking out of church after the Sunday morning service with your son, who is six years old.   As you're getting into the car, he says, "Piss! Ass! Foreskin! Whore! Dung! Breasts! Bastard! Concubine! Eunuch! Fornication! Shittim!"

Would you be offended?   Would you punish him for using such language?   Are you aware that each one of those words is in the King James Version of the Holy Bible ... the very book your son has tucked under his little arm?   Are you okay with him "quoting the Bible?"

"Piss" (pisseth) I Sam. 25:22, I Kings 14:10
"Ass" Gen. 22:3, Gen. 42:26
"Foreskin" Gen. 17:14
"Whore" Lev. 19:29, Rev. 17:15
"Dung" Lev. 8:17, II Kings 18:27
"Breasts" Prov. 5:19
"Bastard" Deut 23:2, Heb. 12:8
"Concubine" Gen. 22:24, Judges 19:9, II Sam. 15:16
"Eunuch" Isa. 39:7, Jeremiah 41:16
"Fornication" II Chron. 21:11, Isa. 23:17, Matt. 15:19
"Shittim" Ex. 37:10, Joel 3:18

132. Every Sunday in church, millions of people pray The Lord's Prayer, which includes a request that "thy [God's] will be done." Exodus 31:15 tells us that the will of God is that people who work on the Sabbath should be put to death. Do you really want that? All the thousands of employees of Wal-Mart and Kroger who work on Sunday ... do you want them to be executed? How? By lethal injection? Firing squad?

133. Isaiah 40:28 says that God doesn't grow tired or weary. If this is true, why did God have to rest on the seventh day, after he created everything?

134. Do you believe that church attendance is important? Why? Are you aware that there is only ONE Bible verse that even vaguely orders Christians to attend church services (it's Hebrews 10:25) but there are FOUR separate commandments in the New Testament that require you to kiss every person that you meet (I Corinthians 16:20, II Corinthians 13:12, I Thessalonians 5:26, I Peter 5:14)?   Which are you doing more of these days - going to church, or kissing people?

And in case you're wondering ... no, there's nothing in the Ten Commandments that requires church attendance.   You "keep the Sabbath day holy" by not working, period.   You can look it up (Exodus 20:8-10, Exodus 34:21).

And by the way ... the Sabbath is Saturday, not Sunday. Do you work on Saturday? Are you arrogant enough to think that you have the right to change God's Sabbath from Saturday to a different day of the week?

Acts 20:7 states that the Christians got together on the first of the week (i.e., Sunday). They did it ONE TIME. There is NO indication that this was a regular weekly day of worship meetings for them.

Have you nullified the commandment of God for the sake of your church's tradition (Matthew 15:6)?

And in case you're wondering, no, there's nothing in the New Testament to indicate that the early Christians changed the Sabbath from Saturday to Sunday.

135. In Luke 22:36, Jesus specifically orders Christians to buy swords   —   even if they have to sell their outer garments to get the money.   Do you own a sword?   If you don't, when do you plan to buy one and end your rebellion against the Lord's clear and unequivocal commandment?

136. In Matthew 19:12, Jesus said that some people have castrated themselves for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.   If your son told you that he wanted to follow Jesus' suggestion, what would you say?

137. In John 21:15-17, we read about an exchange between Jesus and Simon Peter.   Jesus asks Simon three times, "Do you love me?"

As you probably know, when you read this passage in Greek, Jesus uses different (Greek) words for "love."   Pastors adore this passage because it's a ready-made sermon.

There are a couple of problems, though: (1) Jesus didn't speak Greek when he talked to Simon, because Simon wouldn't have known what the hell he was saying, and (2) if you say this in Aramaic (which is the language that Jesus would have used), it just doesn't work, since Aramaic doesn't have as many words that are translated "love."

How do you explain this?   Could this be a fake story?

138. Proverbs 22:15 clearly says that it is acceptable for me to hit my child with a stick.   If you observed me in my back yard "being Biblical" by hitting my seven-year-old son with a stick, what (if anything) would you do?   Would you bow your head and thank the Lord that you have such a godly neighbor?

139. You believe that you're going to heaven after you die. Do you like the idea that you've been created for the sole purpose of worshipping your creator? That after you die, you're supposed to do this forever? That the purpose of your existence is to be part of a cosmic cheering squad for a deity so vain and insecure that he needs constant reassurance of his supremacy ... for billions and billions and billions of years?

140. In these questions, I think I've shown that your "God" is in reality a hateful, twisted, nasty, vicious, petty, vengeful, double-talking, self-contradictory, nit-picking, slave-mongering, dishonest, spiteful being of low moral character. How do you know you're not really worshipping Satan? I'm not asking you to hold God accountable, or to judge him (he's opposed to that, of course); I'm just asking you if there is any minimum standard of decency that you'd hold him to. Have you decided in advance to worship God no matter what kind of a violent, twisted, sick son of a bitch he is shown to be (and admits to being) in his own book?

In other words ... the Bible contains instructions on how to avoid the eternal fires of hell.   God (1) made the rules, (2) created an imperfect human race that he knew in advance would break his rules, (3) created a horrible place [hell] where the rule-breakers would be tortured forever, and then (4) provided them with information (albeit confusing and contradictory) on how to escape the hell that he himself created. Wouldn't it have been a lot simpler if this all-loving all-powerful God, by a snapping of his fingers, had just eliminated all of the problems we humans must endure ... instead of giving us this weird book and just hoping we could figure it out?

God is omniscient; he knows everything.   This means that when he created the universe, he saw the suffering that humans would eventually endure (in hell) as a result of their sins.   God actually heard, in advance, the screams of the damned.   Surely he knew that it would have been better for those humans never to have been born (in fact, the Bible says this very thing about one particular sinner ... Mark 14:21), and surely an all-compassionate deity would have forgone the creation of a sinful human who was (a) destined to imperfection and therefore (b) predestined to suffer forever.

I contend that it is not logical that a perfectly compassionate God would create beings whom he knows are doomed to suffer forever and ever, and that this is the most obvious contradiction in your belief system (and the most shocking, obvious flaw in God's character). What do you think?

Imagine a newborn baby. The young mother, her hair wet with sweat, cradles him gently, as tears of happiness fill her eyes. And up in heaven, your God looks down on this tender scene, on this tiny infant, knowing that it will spend countless eons being tortured in hell, millions and millions of years screaming in agony. How does God feel right now? How do YOU feel about this?

On March 31, 2006, the Dallas Morning News reported that a man named Robert Stephenson had gotten angry at his ex-girlfriend. He went to her house, coerced her to get into his truck with him by threatening to burn down her house (with her children in it) if she didn't, and then took her to his house ... where he tied her up, hung her upside down, beat her, raped her, and burned her with a blowtorch. He then poured Drano into the burn wounds. After 19 days, she escaped. How is Robert Stephenson any different, morally, from your God (besides the fact that God wants to torture people for much longer than 19 days)?


141. Jesus was punished for sins that he didn't commit.   Why would anyone call that "justice?"   If our courts accepted the punishment of someone else in the place of the guilty criminal, we would not say that justice had been done, but that injustice had been added to injustice. Is the church teaching that two wrongs make a right?

Some people say that Jesus dying for our sins represents God's mercy.   In fact, it represents the opposite of that.   The substitionary death of Jesus means that somebody PAID for your sins   —   God demanded payment   —   it does NOT mean that God was merciful.

142. What is it about Biblegod that makes him a male god?   Does he have a penis?   Does he have a beard?   XY chromosomes in his divine DNA rather than XX?

Imagine that someone were to go through the entire Bible and change every reference to God's gender so that he became a female ... a goddess.   Every "he" or "him" would be changed to a "she" or "her."   Jesus would be quoted as saying, "No one comes to the Mother except through me" (John 14:6).   The Lord's [Lady's?] prayer would begin, "Our Mother, who art in heaven ..."

If we did "feminize" Biblegod, how would that change any theological [thealogical?] assertion found in the Bible? How would it make any difference at all ... other than the fact that it would be pretty unbelievable that a mother Goddess would perpetrate all the mass murder and genocide that Biblegod confesses to in his own Holy Book?

143. In the Bible (Matthew 18:19) it says that if two Christians agree about anything, God will do it. Could you get with one of your Christian buddies and ask God to give me a million dollars? Please? This would be a VERY easy way for you to prove that your God exists, and that he tells the truth.

In fact ... right now, I want you to have a prayer meeting and ask your God to make me win the next lottery.   Then send me an email telling me that you did this.   When I win the lottery, I will give you $100,000.00 and take down this website.

I promise.   I swear to god.

144. In Genesis 4:26, long before the time of Moses, we are told that men began to call on "the name of the LORD [יהוה] ."   In fact, at Genesis 22:14 (again, long before the time of Moses), Abraham names a place "The LORD [יהוה] Will Provide."

And yet later on   —   later in time   —   in Exodus 6:3, God tells Moses that previously his name [יהוה] had been unknown to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.   How do you explain this clear contradiction?

145. Why was "demon possession" so common in Jesus' time, but is hardly mentioned at all in the Old Testament, and is non-existent today?

Church is Canceled

146. Why did God create so many species only to allow most of them to become extinct before man even existed (some scientists estimate that 99% of all the species that ever lived on earth are now extinct)?   What was the point?

147. If every single copy of the Bible were destroyed (including the copies on personal computers and on the internet), everywhere in the entire universe, would your God still exist?   How would you know?

And without a Bible, how would you be able to discern his attributes?

148. Genesis 4:15 records that God placed a mark on Cain   —   a distinctive identifying symbol. At the time, there were only three people in the entire world. Didn't they all know each other?

The book of Genesis also records that Cain killed his brother Abel.   This raises a couple of questions:

    1. How did Cain know how to kill somebody? This was "in the beginning," and nobody had ever killed anybody. In fact, at this point, nobody had ever died.

    2. At this point in history, was it a sin to kill somebody?   The Law had not been given ("Thou shalt not kill"), and in the absence of the law, sin is dead (Romans 7:8).

149. Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:39).   And HOW did Jesus say that one should love himself?   Jesus said we must hate ourselves in order to qualify to be his disciples [hate our own lives] (Luke 14:26).   If I'm a Christian, I am required to hate myself; and I am required to love my neighbor the same way. Therefore, I should hate my neighbor, right?

150. How would you prove that your god exists   —   without using arguments that someone from another religion could use to prove that his god exists, and without reference to the Bible?

151. If someone showed up tomorrow and claimed to be "the second coming of Christ," what would be your minimum requirement(s) for proof of his identity?

152. Jeremiah 3:12 reads, "'For I am merciful,' says the Lord, 'I will not remain angry forever.'"

Fourteen chapters later (Jeremiah 17:4), God says, "You have kindled a fire in my anger which shall burn forever."

How can God's anger burn forever if he doesn't remain angry forever?

153. If a wicked person (an enemy of the faith) should suffer, what would be the appropriate reaction for a Christian?

Psalm 58:10 says, "The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked." But Proverbs 24:17 says, "Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth."

So which is it?   Okay to rejoice, or not okay to rejoice?

154. In 2006, Zacarias Moussaoui was convicted (and sentenced to life in prison) for doing nothing.   The crime he committed was NOT stopping the September 11 attacks   —   not reporting the conspiracy to authorities.   Didn't Biblegod commit exactly the same crime on September 11?

155. Can God make a burrito so spicy that he can't eat it?

156. Hosea 8:4 [King James Version] quotes Biblegod as saying, "They have made princes, and I knew it not."   How can this be, since Biblegod is omniscient?

157. Imagine that you've decided to hire somebody to remodel your kitchen. You want an honest contractor, because you're going to be spending lots of money.

Contractor A is a Christian. All his workmen are Christians. His truck has the little fish logo on the side (with the word JESUS written inside it, for people who don't understand the reference). He has a good reputation in the community.

Contractor B is a Wiccan. All of his employees are Wiccan. He has a pentagram on the side of his truck. He also has a good reputation in the community.

As you know, if a Christian sins   —   screws up your kitchen, gets the measurements wrong, paints with the wrong colors, does the wiring backward, takes your money and doesn't complete the work   —   all he has to do (according to his religion) to make things right is to pray to his god (see I John 1:9). Kaboom, just like that, he's forgiven.

On the other hand, a Wiccan believes that he will have to pay for his "sins"   —   whatever trouble he causes you, he'll be hit with three times as much trouble.

Question: Which contractor do you trust to do your kitchen right?

158. You believe that the nicest guy who ever lived was Jesus.   Your God allowed Roman soldiers to beat him and then murder him slowly and painfully (right after Jesus prayed to your God to "let this cup pass, if it be possible").   Why do you "praise" this God?   Why do you worship him?

159. From 1900 to 1940, every child in America celebrated Halloween in the usual way: dressing up as a witch or ghost (or monster), attending a Halloween party (it may have been sponsored by a church), watching a scary movie, telling (and/or listening to) ghost stories, and going out trick-or-treating. That generation of Americans grew up strong and moral, raised normal children, and defeated Hitler. Why is it that modern evangelicals are so worried about Halloween, claiming that it's some sort of gateway to Satanism?

      Do modern Christians just enjoy finding new things to hate?

160. Numbers 23:19 says that God is not man nor is he the son of man.   How then can you believe that Jesus (a man) is God?

161. The Bible says that

    (a) the law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul (Psalm 19:7). Yet it also says that

    (b) the law is powerless to save us (Romans 8:3); if any law COULD save us, then Jesus died for nothing (Galatians 2:21).

So which is it?   Is the law (a) perfect, and able to convert one's soul, or is it (b) incapable of saving us?

162. Satan could not exist unless God had created him (John 1:3). Why would God create Satan? If you were the only being in existence, and you had all the power in the universe, would you create your own worst enemy?

163. Why doesn't your church use its Sunday School classes to refute the vast body of skeptical literature? In other words, why don't they teach you in Sunday School how to answer questions like the ones I'm asking?

Remember that I Peter 3:15 requires that you "always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you."


164. Genesis 6:6 says that "the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and he was grieved in his heart."   God is perfect, and knows everything.   How could it be that God would do something that he would later regret?   Did he not know what was going to happen?

165. Many Christians subscribe to the doctrine of sola scriptura ("only scripture"), which is the idea that the only source of Christian doctrine is the Bible.   Did you know that the Bible itself states otherwise?   Per I Timothy 3:15, the "pillar and ground of the truth" is THE CHURCH.   Wouldn't it be fair to say that the Bible itself negates this concept of sola scriptura?

166. As you know, Satan used to be an angel, and he rebelled against God.   God cast him out of heaven, and threw him down to earth (Luke 10:18; Ezekiel 28:17; Isaiah 14:12ff).   Of all the planets in the universe, why did God throw Satan down to THIS one?

167. There is absolutely no doubt that the Bible requires one to adhere to a policy of intolerance of (and/or hostility to) other religions.   If you were President of the United States, would you follow the clear requirements of your Bible in this area, or would you follow the First Amendment?

168. The Bible says that insects have four legs (Leviticus 11:20-23).   What do YOU think?   Do you really want your 8th grader to get into an argument with his Life Science teacher about this?

169. Mark 1:2 purports to quote Isaiah; the verse Jesus is quoting is actually found in Malachi (3:1).   How can the Bible be wrong about ... the Bible?

170. Matthew 27:9-10 purports to quote Jeremiah, but the passage is really in Zechariah (11:12-13).   Again ... how can the Bible be wrong about the Bible?

171. Jude (vv. 14-15) quotes from the book of Enoch (it's Enoch 1:9).   Does your Bible contain the book of Enoch?   Doesn't the book of Jude expressly endorse the book of Enoch as being scripture?   Shouldn't Enoch therefore be in your Bible?

172. Have you ever wondered why the period when the church dominated the western world is universally referred to as the Dark Ages, while the period of breaking away from church dogma is called the Enlightenment?

173. Your Bible (KJV) has two separate references to satyrs and NINE separate references to unicorns. Not to mention a talking snake and a talking donkey.   Seriously ... do you believe everything in this book?

174. The Amplified Bible ... is it really louder than the other Bibles?

175. Harvey Weinstein is famous for being a sexual abuser.   We hear story after story from women, and they're all the same: It was a relationship where he had authority over them, and he used it to his advantage to coerce them into having sex with him.   He is the reason that the "Me Too" movement was founded.

      Explain how his conduct is different from what God did with the Virgin Mary (Luke 1:26ff).   God didn't ask her for her permission; he simply swooped down and got her pregnant.   God took advantage of his position of authority.   He knew that Mary couldn't say "no."   How is God any different from Harvey Weinstein?

And by the way ... what if Mary had said "no?"   If she had resisted the "will of God" regarding getting knocked up, would that have been a sin?

176. Can a person sin in heaven?


177. We are told that God is good. We are told that he loves us. God is love (I John 4:8).

And God can do anything. Absolutely anything. God asks, "Is there anything too hard for me?" (Jer. 32:27)   The implied answer is "No."

God is able to feed hungry people.

He did it with Jesus' miracle of the loaves and fishes.   God fed hungry people with a miracle.

He did it when the Israelites were wandering in the desert   —   he gave them manna. He fed hungry people with a miracle.

If you had the power to feed all the hungry people in the world by wiggling your left pinky, would you do it?

God has the power, right now, to feed all the hungry children in the world, but he isn't doing it.   Is your God an asshole?

      Jesus told a story   —   Matthew 25:31ff   —   about two groups of people.

      One group was generous, and gave food to hungry people; they gave clothing to people who didn't have clothes; and they visited people who were sick and in prison. They went to heaven   —   they were told, "Enter into the joy of your Lord."

      The second group was a bunch of assholes. They didn't give food to hungry people, or clothing to naked people. They went to hell   —   a fiery place that had been prepared for Satan and his angels.

      Your God has the power to give food to hungry people, and he doesn't do it.

      This means that God deserves to go to hell.

178. Here on earth, we have murder and rape and evil and jealousy. Christians say that this is because of mankind having a free will.

This is the cause of suffering on earth.

Christians will also tell you that in heaven, people have free will. People do whatever they want to.

And they'll tell you that in heaven, there is no murder or rape or evil.

Why doesn't heaven have the same kind of suffering that we have on earth?

Why is "giving us a free will" the only way that God can give us a meaningful life?   He's God; he can do anything.   Why doesn't he just push a magic button that's labeled "Take Away Their Free Will and Fix Everything, But Humans Still Retain Purpose in Life"?

179. Imagine that a whole bunch of bad people   —   Charles Manson, Adolf Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, Hillary Clinton   —   had deathbed conversions, that is, they Became Christians ("received Jesus") minutes before they died.   Like the thief on the cross   —   lives filled with evil, yet it's all wiped clean at the very last minute by the blood of Jesus (hallelujah).

We're assuming that these people still have their same personalities, and free will, after they're dead.

If this happened a million times, and heaven were populated with a bunch of these sorry motherfuckers, wouldn't it change the nature of heaven?   If heaven were filled with sorry bastards, would you want to live there forever?

If Hitler "received Jesus" just before his death in May 1945, would he automatically lose his anti-Semitism (and his desire to conquer everything around him)?

180. The book of Hebrews (in the New Testament) is written in Greek.   Is this false advertising?

181. What would it take to convince you that God doesn't exist?   Unanswered prayer?   Contradictions and absurdities in your Bible?

And if nothing could ever convince you, isn't your "faith" pretty meaningless?   Isn't it, in fact, mere stubbornness ... which is of the flesh?

182. It's funny: God can "magic up" anything he wants   —   healing, manna from heaven, loaves and fishes, walking on water, raising a dead guy   —   but to write a book, he uses humans with goose quills and ink pots.   Why couldn't he just "speak it into existence"   —   i.e., "and God said, 'Let there be a Bible,' and there was a Bible"?

183. Have you ever read the entire Bible, cover to cover?   Why not?   If you haven't read the whole thing, do you nevertheless claim to believe that everything in it is true (including the parts you've never read)?

184. Did you know that Jesus contradicted himself ... in two statements that are recorded in the same book of the Bible?

      (1) "Jesus answered and said to them, Even if I bear witness (marturw) of myself, my witness (marturia) IS TRUE." (John 8:14)

Marturw means "bear witness" (NAS) or "testify" (NIV, NRSV), and it's the same word used in John 5:31, where Jesus says,

      (2) "If I bear witness (marturw) of myself, my witness (marturia) IS NOT TRUE."

Based on the statements of Jesus himself ... if he bears witness of himself, is it true, or not true?

185. This is what Mark 4:11-12 says:

"[Jesus] said to them, To you it has been given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God; but to those who are outside, all things come in parables, so that seeing they may see and not perceive, and hearing they may hear and not understand; lest they should turn, and their sins be forgiven them."

Jesus says that he is telling secret things to this special group of people, and everybody else just hears parables which obscure the meaning of what is being said.   He says that the "parables hearers" will never understand, and will never "turn" and be forgiven.

Jesus has picked out two groups of people. One group is given the "secret things," and the other group ("those on the outside") is given parables, which they won't understand.

Obviously, Jesus doesn't want the "parables hearers" to be forgiven.   If he did, he would give them "the secret of the kingdom of God."

Fiery Hell But in II Pet 3:9, we are told that "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance."

So ... does Jesus want everybody to be saved?   If he did, wouldn't he make damn sure that everybody was given "the secret of the kingdom of God?"

186. Leviticus 20:21 prohibits you from marrying your brother's wife ("it is an unclean thing").

Deuteronomy 25:5 orders you to marry your brother's wife.

So if your brother dies, leaving behind a widow, what does God want you to do?

187. In the past two months, how many times has your pastor (in his sermons) made references to Marvel movie characters?

188. Is a psychopath made in the image of God?

        And if you're made in the image of God, wouldn't you be invisible?

189. When Jesus ascended into heaven (Acts 1:9), did he just keep going higher and higher?   Did the air keep getting thinner and thinner, and did it get colder and colder as he was sailing past the planets on his way out of the solar system?

Does it concern you that a book that was supposedly written by the creator of the universe doesn't demonstrate even an elementary-school level of cosmological knowledge?

190. In Matthew's gospel, after Jesus is born, his parents take him to Egypt, and they stay there until after Herod dies (Matt. 2:12-15).

But Luke tells a completely different story: after Jesus is born, his parents take him to Jerusalem, and then they go home to Nazareth (Luke 2:21-39).

So ... where did Jesus' parents (well, his Mom and his stepfather) take him after he was born?

191. How easy would it have been for God (an omniscient being) to have put just one chapter in his Bible that would show him unequivocally to be omniscient?   Everything that's in the Bible indicates that it was written by pre-technological humans who had no knowledge of how the universe actually works.

192. I used to be a Christian, and I'm working on losing my salvation.   How many girls do I have to fuck (I'm already way up into the single digits)?

193. Let's talk for a minute about the Old Testament law (the Torah).

In Deut. 30:9-11, God says, "The Lord will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, if you obey the Lord your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.   Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach."

In other words, God's law   —   the Torah   —   is "not too difficult for you or beyond your reach."

But in Acts 15:5-10, there's a story about the Pharisees telling the First-Century Christians that "The Gentiles must be circumcised and required to keep the law of Moses."   Peter responds to the Pharisees thus: "Why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of Gentiles a yoke [the Law] that neither we nor our ancestors have been able to bear?"

What?   They "couldn't bear it [the Law]"?   But Deuteronomy says that the Law is "not too difficult."

Which Bible verse do you believe?   The one in Deuteronomy that says the Law is "not too difficult," or the verse in Acts that says it's a yoke that nobody can bear?

194. In Matthew 26:39, Jesus prayed, "If it is possible, let this cup pass from me."

But in Matthew 19:26, Jesus said, "With God all things are possible."

So Jesus thinks that there's something that might not be possible (the cup passing from him) ... but he also says that all things are possible.   Is Jesus perhaps double-minded (James 1:8)?

195. Can God forgive sin without blood being shed?

    The answer is YES:

"If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land."
(II Chronicles 7:14).   No mention whatsoever of blood ... just forgiveness.

    The answer is NO:

"The Law says that almost everything must be sprinkled with blood, and no sins can be forgiven unless blood is offered."
(Hebrews 9:22, CEV).

So which do you believe?   Can God forgive sin if there isn't blood dripping somewhere [as God clearly states in II Chron. 7:14]?

196. We are told that we're all born with "original sin" (Psalm 51:5).

In Genesis 6, God killed everybody on earth (except eight people) in a huge flood.   Those eight people   —   all of them   —   had "sinful natures."   Why did God think that things would be any different when those eight people repopulated the planet?

197. Matthew 5:6 says, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."

It occurs to me that after a person is filled, he will no longer hunger and thirst.   So I guess

      (a) I hunger and thirst, then
      (b) I get filled, and after that
      (c) I don't get the blessing any more?

198. Imagine that time travel becomes possible, so that one can travel back into the past.

We know that Amy Grant "got saved" in 1974.   She was 13.   She recorded a song about it.

Imagine that I could time travel back to 1973, when Amy was still unsaved, and I killed her.   Would Amy Grant go to hell?

Close your eyes and try to picture Amy Grant in hell.

I'll bet Jack T. Chick could draw a tract about this (well, he could if he were still alive).

199. What is the difference between religion and pseudoscience?

200. In the Ten Commandments, God orders me not to covet my neighbor's wife.

I have met all my of neighbors' wives, and I don't covet any of them.   They're all nice gals, but ... I don't covet them.

However, when I drive to work, there's a college girl who stands at a certain bus stop each morning.   On a scale of one to ten, she's about a 13.   I'm afraid that when I look at her, I feel a surge of lust.

Is it okay to covet her?   I'm absolutely certain that she isn't married to any of my neighbors.

201. Jesus is a bastard.   He was born to an unwed mother.   His parents were never married.

This means, according to the Bible, that he isn't allowed to enter a synagogue.

And yet the Bible records that he did go into a synagogue   —   in direct violation of the scriptural commandment!

Doesn't this mean that Jesus is a sinner?

202. Do you read the Bible the same way you read any other book?

If you owned a shop manual that was full of inconsistencies and contradictions, would you keep using it?

Are you more willing to forgive the errors and inaccuracies in the Bible than you would if it weren't a "holy book?"

Are you in fact making allowances for the imperfections of God?

Are you making special accommodations and excuses for this book, the same way you would for a mentally retarded child?

Isn't your Bible a kind of a weird, defective, antiquated thing that you tolerate only because you feel like you have to, because you're afraid of what might happen if you questioned it in a fair, reasonable manner?

And isn't it true that fear is an integral part of your religion   —   not fear of evil spirits or of Satan, but fear of God himself   —  

Deuteronomy 6:13,
Joshua 24:14,
Psalm 2:11,
Ecclesiastes 12:13,
Isaiah 33:6,
II Corinthians 5:11?

Is the Bible something that is occasionally an embarrassment to you?

In trying to come up with answers to the questions on this page, do you find yourself having to stifle your normal common sense? Do you find yourself saying things like

      (a) "God can do whatever he wants to, because he's God" or
      (b) "God is holy, and can't allow any sin in his presence" or
      (c) "Things are different today than they were in Biblical times" or
      (d) "There are a lot of things in the Bible we just don't understand" or
      (e) "We just have to trust in God; we have to have faith" or
      (f) "We can't always understand God; his ways are not our ways" [this is also true of Charles Manson] or
      (g) "That Bible verse must have been taken out of context ... I'll look it up sometime" or
      (h) "That's just one of those difficult Bible passages" or
      (i) "That was back in the Old Testament; it doesn't apply to us" or
      (j) "I can't explain it, and I don't really understand it, but I still believe in the Bible, no matter what" or
      (k) "That's not in the original text. I think" or
      (l) "That was Aramaic/Jewish hyperbole, and shouldn't be taken literally" [how can we determine which Bible passages should be taken literally? What is your litmus test?] or
      (m) "That's an example of linguistic extreme, or absoluteness being used to express a preference" (translation: Any time the Bible says something ridiculous or disgusting or vicious, it means something else. Otherwise, we'd have proof positive that Biblegod is a demented monster) or
      (n) "That old canard? I've heard THAT question asked before" [this response beats the hell out of actually answering the question] or
      (o) "That's just an ancient expression of Oriental imprecation" [Really? Then don't tell me that the Bible is relevant for modern times!] or
      (p) "Behind much of the thought in the Bible lies a peculiarly Semitic idea of a unitive notion of human personality" [words thrown together that mean absolutely nothing ... another Christian apologist trying to sound intelligent] or
      (q) "There's a webpage at that answers that question" or
      (r) "That passage is meant to be symbolic."
[You shouldn't use this "apologetic" unless you understand what symbolism is: It's one thing standing for another thing.   In the passage where Jesus said, "You can't be a Christian unless you hate your mother" (Luke 14:26), what is "your mother" symbolic of?   It's not symbolic.   You have been ordered (by God) to hate your mother. Or is hate "symbolic?"   Symbolic of what?]

Bible In the common-sense part of your mind, do you suspect that the Bible is really a not-too-admirable invention of man - not "the word of God" at all?

Do you find that the more you study the Bible, the more you have to engage in "double-think?"   Do you find that the more you try to defend the Bible, the more you have to engage in "double-talk?"

If this many legitimate questions existed about an airplane that you were about to board, would you go ahead and make the trip? Or would you wait for the next flight? If you had the courage to be absolutely, 100% honest, would you tell people that you really believe that the Bible is perfect and infallible? If we hooked you up to a polygraph when you made that statement ("Yes, I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and it's 100% infallible"), how much would the needles wiggle?

We are told that the Bible was written by God, the all-knowing infinite supreme being. One would expect the Bible to be chock-full (cover to cover) of wisdom and insight.   And yet if you open the Bible at random (ask a stranger to do this ... just flip the book open and put his finger down at random) and start reading, it's a bunch of meaningless nonsense.

An example: I just flipped (at random) to Nahum 2:3.   Here's what the infinite mind of God wants me to know today: "The shields of his mighty men are made red, the valiant men are in scarlet. The chariots come with flaming torches in the day of his preparation, and the spears are brandished."

How could any impartial, unprejudiced, intelligent person believe that this book was written by a wise all-knowing infinite transcendent deity?

I challenge you, right now, to take the Random Bible Verse test.   Seriously.   Go get your Bible.

Would it be safe to say that you employ your critical faculties (i.e., your good common sense) in every aspect of your life other than this one (your religion)? You wouldn't invest your kids' college savings in a scheme run by a cheesy scam artist. You don't buy the crap they advertise in the infomercials ("Wait! If you call in the next ten minutes ..."). But let somebody use the magic word "God" or show you some commandment or assertion in an old leather-bound book (an incomprehensible self-contradictory 17th-Century English translation of a ragtag collection of spurious copies [of copies of copies of copies] of Greek and Hebrew manuscripts that were collected over a period of 1800 years, and selected from an even larger collection of manuscripts by people that you know nothing about) and, regardless of how patently absurd or preposterous the assertion is, you obey, no questions asked.   Does it ever occur to you that maybe you're allowing yourself to be controlled by the wrong thing?

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