Never a True Christian

A Conversation With a Christian

  Me:   Jeff, you know I'm an atheist.   Do you think I'm going to hell after I die?

Xtian:   Only God can know your heart.

  Me:   But I'm telling you that I don't believe in Jesus or God.   Do you think I'm going to hell?

Xtian:   Only God can know your heart.

  Me:   Wrong.   I can damn sure know my own heart.   Do you think I'm going to hell?

Xtian:   Well ... God decides that.  He's the judge.

  Me:   Do you think I deserve to go to hell?

Xtian:  [Hesitates] It doesn't matter what I think.

  Me:   Yes, it does.   It matters to me.   That's why I'm asking.   Do you think I deserve to go to hell?

Xtian:   Uhhhh ...

  Me:   Let me ask it another way.   If you were God, would you send me to hell?

Xtian:   I'm not God.

  Me:   No, you're not.  If you were, I guess you wouldn't be such a pussy about answering a simple question.

Xtian:   You don't have to be offensive.

  Me:   Yes, I do.   I am very offended by the fact that you might think that I deserve to be tortured for all eternity, and you won't even deny that you think that.

Xtian:   Only God can judge you.

  Me:   I hereby give you permission to judge me on the question of whether I should go to hell after I die.   Do you want me to put it in writing?

Xtian:   [Silence]

  Me:   You are the most gutless Christian I ever met.

Xtian:   Okay ... No.   If I were to be your judge after you die, when you stand in judgment, I would NOT send you to hell for all eternity.

  Me:   So you disagree with God?

Xtian:   I don't know.   You haven't yet been judged by God.   I don't really know if my judgment disagrees with his.

  Me:   Are you familiar with the plan of salvation?   The requirements for becoming a Christian?  For "passing from death to life" [I John 3:14]?

Xtian:   Yes.

  Me:   Well, I have NOT partaken of that system.   I have not "received Jesus."   I reject him.   If I died right now, God would send me to hell; you would not.   You disagree with God.   I think your sense of morality and justice is better than God's.

Xtian:   Only God can judge you.

  Me:   The next time you say that, I'm going to blow your fucking head off with this 9mm automatic.



                                             
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