Sins For Which the Bible Requires Capital Punishment
According to the Bible, your Heavenly Father prohibits these things, and they're punishable by death:
1. Cursing your parents (Lev. 20:9)
2. Slapping your parents (Ex. 21:15)
3. Fucking your stepmother (Lev. 20:11). She has to die too.
4. Fucking your daughter-in-law (or being the daughter-in-law who got fucked) (Lev. 20:12)
5. Fucking an animal (Lev. 20:15) (and the poor fucking animal has to die too!)
6. Worshipping a god other than Biblegod (Deut. 13:6-10, Deut. 17:2-7)
7. Making a false prophecy (Deut. 18:20)
8. Blaspheming the name of Yahweh (aka "the LORD") (Lev. 24:16)
... and if a priest's daughter has sex in exchange for money, she is to be executed ... by burning (Lev. 21:9)
God also prohibits the following things, but there's no death penalty:
1. Fucking your aunt (Lev. 18:13-14, Lev. 20:20)
2. Fucking your sister (Lev. 18:9)
3. Fucking a slave girl who is engaged to another (Lev. 19:20)
(Seems to me that God has too many fucking rules.)
4. Tattoos (Lev. 19:28)
5. Letting people pay to fuck your daughter (Lev. 19:29)
6. Mistreating aliens (Lev. 19:33)
7. Marrying your sister (Lev. 20:17)
8. Fucking a woman while she's menstruating (Lev. 20:18)
9. Marrying your brother's wife (Lev. 20:21) ... although Deut. 25:5 commands you to marry her. Confusing, isn't it?
10. Eating camels or rabbits ("hares") (Deut. 14:6-7)
11. Wearing a cotton/polyester blend (Deut. 22:11)
12. Ignoring a fallen donkey (Deut. 22:4)
13. Taking a shit without covering it up afterward (Deut. 23:13)
