What should you say when you answer a knock on your door, and it is

      1. someone inviting you to church or
      2. someone wanting to talk to you about the Kingdom Hall or
      3. a couple of Mormons wanting to give you literature or
      4. someone who is concerned about your eternal future?

May I suggest one of the four following replies:

1.       Tell him that you already have a religion. When he asks you what it is, look uncomfortable and say, "Well, I probably shouldn't talk about it ... I'm not sure it's 100% legal in this country."

2.       Smile and say, "You know, I really don't give a damn about Jesus Christ."

3.       Ask him if he believes the Bible.   He will say yes.

      Ask him if he believes that people should LIVE by the Bible.   He will again say yes.

      Ask to borrow his Bible.   Look up Luke 6:30 and read it to him: "Give to everyone who asks you."

      Then ask him to give you all of his money.

4. Ask him for his home address.   When he asks you why, tell him that you want to drop in on HIM some Saturday morning and talk about YOUR religion.

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