Never a True Christian
Death Penalty
Sins For Which the Bible Requires Capital Punishment


    According to the Bible, your Heavenly Father prohibits these things, and they're punishable by death:

1. Cursing your parents (Lev. 20:9)

2. Slapping your parents (Ex. 21:15)

3. Fucking your stepmother (Lev. 20:11).   She has to die too.

4. Fucking your daughter-in-law (or being the daughter-in-law who got fucked) (Lev. 20:12)

5. Fucking an animal (Lev. 20:15) (and the poor fucking animal has to die too!)

6. Worshipping a god other than Biblegod (Deut. 13:6-10, Deut. 17:2-7)

7. Making a false prophecy (Deut. 18:20)

8. Blaspheming the name of Yahweh (aka "the LORD") (Lev. 24:16)

    ... and if a priest's daughter has sex in exchange for money, she is to be executed ... by burning (Lev. 21:9)

God also prohibits the following things, but there's no death penalty:

1. Fucking your aunt (Lev. 18:13-14, Lev. 20:20)

2. Fucking your sister (Lev. 18:9)

3. Fucking a slave girl who is engaged to another (Lev. 19:20)

       (Seems to me that God has too many fucking rules.)

4. Tattoos (Lev. 19:28)

5. Letting people pay to fuck your daughter (Lev. 19:29)

6. Mistreating aliens (Lev. 19:33)

7. Marrying your sister (Lev. 20:17)

8. Fucking a woman while she's menstruating (Lev. 20:18)

9. Marrying your brother's wife (Lev. 20:21) ... although Deut. 25:5 commands you to marry her. Confusing, isn't it?

10. Eating camels or rabbits ("hares") (Deut. 14:6-7)

11. Wearing a cotton/polyester blend (Deut. 22:11)

12. Ignoring a fallen donkey (Deut. 22:4)

13. Taking a shit without covering it up afterward (Deut. 23:13)

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